19 Nov #28 Cohabitation
I am all for living with your partner before the two of you decide to get married but are strongly considering it. You know how before you complete your degree they send you to a year of on-the-job learning? Well, cohabiting is the same just for marriage.
Surprises in your spouse are not fun. Imagine marrying him and discovering 6 months down the line that he has a sick fetish or a bad habit of beating you senseless? These are things you wouldn’t know from texting him on one end of the phone. He leaves his Christian Grey at home when he comes over to take you on dates. He will not be able to hide that dark side forever when you are living with him.
Cohabiting allows you to experience the person in a way you wouldn’t be able to otherwise. It gives you an opportunity to learn a person and to make an informed decision if you can do an eternity with that person or not. I tried cohabiting once, I didn’t last too long in that house and that relationship. I knew in a very short amount of time that he wasn’t for me. I may never live with a man again. It was that bad.
The drawback of cohabiting is that y’all will take the consummation bit too far. The honeymoon period with new-found freedom is a recipe for disaster. Your parents cannot stomach the idea of you having sex on your wedding night what more on a trial live-in situation? If there was a way they’d be dead sure that you are not indulging, more parents would be up for it. Nobody wants to hear that their daughter is being taken for a test drive.
In the cultural Zimbabwe that we live in, it is frowned upon to live with your person before marriage. This can only happen when you elope or when you get pregnant and your family sends you back to the seeder. As the guy, you need to pray incessantly that nothing happens to your stolen bride because her family will put you through drama when you have to bury her or something. They will not allow you to bury her until you pay the bride price and/or the damages in full. Imagine all these financial implications that you were never ready for.
Would you consider living with your partner before marriage?