20 Sep #9 My Thoughts On Colourism
I am dark girl born in a family of yellow babies. I was always compared to them and asked why I am not as pretty. Only now did I come to realise that unpretty meant, “why are you not light?”
Taking pictures with the Zulugirls is such a stress. A filter that works on them, doesn’t flatter my skin tone and vice versa. Nothing blatantly makes you feel like you do not belong than such a picture. This, however, has not stopped me from taking selfies with them but its not an easy feat. I do not enjoy it at all.
Growing up as a dark girl in a light-skinned family bred so many esteem issues inside of me that people will not understand. Yes melanin is great. There are advantages to being darker. Black really does not crack and I can withstand the sunlight longer than my sisters. But what about the wounds that emanated from constantly being compared to one another?
When you tell me that I am not as pretty as my sisters what exactly do you want me to do with that bulldust? When it escaped your mouth how were you hoping I’d react? Did you think it would germinate deep resentment towards my sisters and I would hate them for having less melanin? Help me to understand because it is genuinely beyond me.
I am not the same as the other girls because I have a different father. It does not mean because I was born first my mother’s womb was still trying out how to carry a baby to term. It does not suggest that I am unclean in any way or that I do not bath. I hate to discuss this topic because it touches on deeper family issues that haven’t been addressed. So, when you pass a stupid comment about my complexion, we will have a problem because I will take out all the drama that comes with it onto you. Consider yourself warned.