Whether you know it or you don’t we’ve all been cheated on. But how we deal with it is what differentiates the jail birds from the love birds. Once you find out that you’re being cheated on, should it stress you and make your hair turn grey? Not a chance.
Let me teach you something about being cheated on.
The moment you feel it in your gut that things aren’t the same, you need to trust your instincts. We are more intuitive than we know. At that point, start to investigate and see if your partner is sloppy enough to get caught. For my praying readers, this is when you get on your knees and lean not on your own understanding.
Now that you’ve confirmed that your partner is cheating, what will you do?
Stressing about it and losing sleep over it won’t make it go away. Listening to Beyonce and Adele or watching War Room won’t help matters. The Stepford wives will put me on blast and say “stick to your man” or “people change” or my favourite, “men will be men.” I for one do not encourage you to stay. Even the good book says the only time you are permitted to divorce is when there has been infidelity. Who am I to argue with the gospel truth?
Trust is a tricky thing when its broken. You won’t be able to trust anything that your partner says thereon after. Lets face it, when people get caught once, either they get better at hiding it or they don’t give a flying fish and start flaunting the cheating in your face. When your virginity of being cheated on is broken and you take them back, they know you’re a survivor or a fool that will take them back. Which one are you?
Start to emotionally withdraw
Women can’t contain their emotions long enough to accomplish this. Sitting there and not yelling at him about his cheating would kill you. You like to pop off and make empty threats about leaving. Wrong card. What you need to do is to make peace with the fast that your partner did you wrong and then play the game from an informed perspective. Start to get over your person while you are still with them. Our flesh does not like sudden changes. The withdrawal symptoms suck. Wean yourself off of them slowly until you wake up one day and you feel nothing or you’ve found another. Whichever one comes first.
Get tested for any venereal diseases
People don’t cheat on their partners just so they can go and have an adult conversation with someone on the side. Bearing this in mind, you need to find out where you stand health wise and pray that they haven’t given you anything that you can’t give back. If you decide to stay in an open relationship where your partner cheats and you’re there for it then please use protection.
Sever all ties
Ever break up with someone on a whim and think, “Crap! They still have my stuff.” Yeah, this step avoids that nuisance altogether. Now that you know your person is cheating and that you are on your way out, start gathering your things and tying up loose ends. If you have a joint account, close it. If you have a business together, buy him out. If he was doing some work for you, make sure he finished before you kick him to the curb. That way, when you leave, you really leave with nothing holding you back.
Bear in mind that it’s not your fault
And it’s not. When you get played you start questioning yourself and your adequacy. Questions like, “What did I do wrong?” or “ Why wasn’t I enough?” Thing is you are everything. You really are. Don’t get shook just because the person you love is broken and unable to receive love. Most people cheat because of their personal issues and not because their partner did anything. They just have an insatiable lust or a void that they cannot fill. You need to have seen this from the jump but ah well. Spilt milk.
Leave, actually leave. Don’t walk out slowly hoping your partner will beg for you to stay. No! Pack everything. Leave no trace behind. Make it seem like you never happened and go. Physically, emotionally and psychologically leave and never look back. Unless you have a stronger heart than mine and you can stay with a cheating partner then have it. I’m out!