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How Alcohol Helped Me Become An Amazing Girlfriend

I once dated this guy who could drink like a fish. This was way outta my character because I had grown up afraid of men that drink. Not because anything bad happened but because I watched too many Tyler Perry movies. Grew up thinking men that drink are drunkards or alcoholics that don’t pay the bills and beat women. My father wasn’t much of a drinker so I had no yardstick to disprove my stereotype. Also, my religion gave me spiritual paranoia about people that drink being bound or some sh#t. So, men that knew alcohol were not considered for the role of bae.

When I moved to the city, I met a fine bobo. Who drank all the time when he wasn’t at work. I was mad skeptical at first but I gave him a chance. Never once did he beat me. All his financial commitments were met on time and in full. He wouldn’t drink to the point of retardation. But his drinking made me a very good girlfriend. His drinking worked for my own good when I finally got past my reservations.

How does alcohol help a relationship?

Well, I didn’t have to hear about his stress. He would hash that stuff out with the people in the bar. They would discuss anything and everything I had no interest in hearing especially sports. Gosh, I hate sports! But when he was Chatty Cathy, high as a kite, he would open up and tell me things he ordinarily wouldn’t when he is sober. He would talk about his fears, aspirations and genuine thoughts about stuff. On the days, he’d drink Two Keys, I’d be ready with my girlfriend notebook to take notes. I’d then address all issues that he had raised. I knew what to discuss and what not to discuss. I knew what to do, when to do it and how to do it. He basically told me all I needed to know when he was sloshed. He thought I was a god-sent but nope I just listened very well. Not once did I ever throw anything he told me in his face. I just used the information quietly and became an awesome girlfriend.

Don’t resent the time apart. Do you!

Before you started dating, you had your own hobbies and thangs. Just because you are now in a relationship, it’s unfair to start demanding somebody’s 100%. Now and then you need time apart to do other things and enjoy your recreational activities. Relationships don’t mean you have to now become conjoined twins. Don’t stiffle your person. P!nk rightly puts it in “Leave Me Alone (I’m Lonely)”, “Go away, give me a chance to miss you. Say goodbye it will make me wanna kiss you, I love you so, much more when you’re not there. Watching all the bad shows. Drinking all of my beer.

On the other hand, there are some men that turn into real life monsters when they drink. These ones deserve to be nagged to stay home and be grounded. I am sorry for your misfortune if you have a man like that. Men that hit the club and come back with HPV. Men that drink all the money away when there is no food and no school fees for the kids. Men that drink and lose their inhibitions and start fights and brawls and people get hurt or die. I am so sorry, I won’t even tell you to leave cause you probably won’t. Endure your man-made prison.

How do you feel about alcohol, Yay or nay?

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