06 Apr I don’t wanna talk
Ever been so mad at somebody that your mouth literally got wired shut by your anger? You turn away cause you can’t stand to look at them and you don’t wanna risk obliterating them with your laser eye beams. And yet they insist on trying to defend their case and that further infuriates you but your silence angers them. Its a cycle.
How do you break the impasse?
There are too many headlines about arguments ending in funerals. Like T.I says in Dead and Gone, “People die everyday over nonsense.” There is a reason why anger is one of the deadly sins. And if you can learn to handle yourself during an argument you may be saving your life.
People in Zimbabwe are angry for obvious reasons. They are frustrated and unemployed. A hungry man is an angry man. And we are shocked when people kill each other over $0,50 but you don’t realise that the fight over $0,50 is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Just operate under the assumption that everybody is a ticking time bomb and you’ll save yourself the admin.
People deal with anger differently. When I’m mad gimme space and let it simmer. I inherited a venomous tongue from my mother and if you keep pushing for me to ‘communicate’ my issues I’ll say things I can’t take back. Things you cannot unhear. Things your soul will never recover from. But there are other people that have a high propensity towards violence and unfortunately they don’t wear warning labels.
When you keep your cool during a heated argument it might contain the situation from blowing outta proportion. Here are a few things to keep in mind when dealing with conflicts.
1. Keep a calm voice. Don’t yell, shout or scream. That’s not communicating.
2. Stick to the issue that you are mad about. Don’t bring up old issues it confuses the other person as to what exactly you are peeved about.
3. Keep your emotions out of the argument.
4. Pick your fights. You don’t have to attend every argument that you get invited to.
5. When curse words and violence get involved walk away. This isn’t a debate anymore its a fight. End result is GBV (Gender Based Violence) or GBH (Grievious Bodily Harm) either way somebody’s gonna get hurt.
6. Discuss your problems with the person or people involved. Don’t discuss them with friends, family or colleagues because even after you solve the issue, rumours could surface and bring it all up again worse than before.
This list isn’t complete. What are your tips and tricks for dealing with an argument?