I'm Not Into Recycling Husbands - Thembi Terry's Blog
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I’m Not Into Recycling Husbands

I’m Not Into Recycling Husbands

Would you marry a divorcee?

If we were both coming from a previous then maybe I’d consider it but fresh as I’m is? It’s not going to happen.

There was a time when all the men that I liked seemed to get married. And I was bitter. But fast forward a couple of years later and they are leaving the said marriages. (I have nothing to do with it.)

And then the question came, would I marry someone who’s been married before?

Twitter advice has the same adverse effects on your mental health as Googling your symptoms. Everything seems bleak unnecessarily. For example, because I am unmarried and childless at 29, Twitter seems to think my only chance at marriage is to get a divorcee and be a step mom. Au contraire there are some men that are holding out for the right one and are still as fresh as I’m is.

Why wouldn’t I marry a divorcee?

Half the world watched Prince Harry marry divorcee Megan Markle and hey that was his choice. It’s just not mine. Imagine going through all your firsts with someone who has been through it all before and got the divorce certificate?

Divorce changes people

As U2 once sang, “You can sew it up but you can still see the tear.” Just because you have glued it back together it doesn’t mean that its back to its original state. The cracks will show and with enough pressure, it could break all over again. Divorce is like you failing at marriage. And some take it better than others but no one escapes from it unscathed. I don’t wanna pay for your previous heartache.

Marriage is a covenant

I believe that marriage is a covenant between both y’all and God. God doesn’t want you to be put asunder. To break away from a covenant isn’t easy. The only reason divorce is permitted is when infidelity is involved. And even then, that means I’ll be living with a paranoid person that will think I’m cheating like his former wife. I can’t live in her shadow all my life. No thank you.

You’ve left a marriage before, how do I know you won’t leave again?

You have a proven record of being a quitter. I’ll never feel secure. For me, marriage is a til death do us part thing. Nobody is leaving. “Ah but Thembi you weren’t there. You don’t understand how bad it can get.” Like I said, not my portion. It can’t happen to me. It won’t.

I’m not looking down at people who married people coming from a divorce. Not at all. I’m just saying that I wasn’t built for it and that’s fine. To each his own. Everyone deserves love and second chances but it doesn’t have to be from me. Different strokes folks.



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