I turn 26 this year and the woman I am now is nothing compared to the girl I was ten years ago. There is so much over the past decade that I would really rather forget. The struggle out there is real in a Lily Allen kinda way.
They used to call me, ‘The Livewire’ mawaya in Ndebele. I feel like people gave me way too much credit, some of the stuff just used to happen to me. I had the drama of a Kardashian minus the sextape. My reputation preceded me, everybody knew who I was, the self-destructive rebel without a clue. I was so bad that even if I did nothing there’d still be rumours about my wicked ways. I was just angry and attention seeking. I was Miss T, not Thembi but Trouble. I was fully conscious of my actions. Why do I say that? Because I was the kinda problem child that considered her future. In the classroom, I was bringing the heat. Life was a game to me and education was like extra lives.
Just before our O level exams, my BFF got pregnant. I got judged! Why is she pregnant and not Thembi? Their answer was, “Duh! Thembi uses condoms.” High school was tough. Detentions, internal suspensions, report forgeries, etc. (I was acquitted on most allegations.) I carried so many bricks in detention I practically built Petra High. On this rock my foot.
So, around 21 I fixed my issues and turned over a new leaf. Started over. Went to varsity to get an education. Met a whole new set of people. Developed new life goals. I actually wanted to keep my life. People think so highly of me now. And then, out of nowhere, your past pops up tryna reminisce about the good old days. There was nothing good about those days. I know the stuff I did, I was there. I have made peace with most of it so if you’re about driving down memory lane, take that trip by yourself. I kept the lessons and got rid of the memories. Don’t remind me. Don’t let the devil use you. You accusing agent of darkness!