19 Sep EnWhitened: Reasons Why I Love Whites
I don’t like responsibility. Being the first of five kids and having to look out for all of them can make the idea of responsibility repulsive. My dislike for responsibility is the reason why I’m sterile. Well, not really, but I have no kids. My obsession with being clean qualifies me to be sterile (the other kind of sterile.) There isn’t a colour that makes you responsible like the colour white.
Listed below are the main reasons why I love all white everything (except the parties.)
The white towel
While other girls are trying to cover up their flaws and piling on make up. I’m minimalist trying to keep the bacteria off and staying clean. I don’t trust people that buy dark coloured towels. How do you really know you are clean? The white towel is the litmus test. Even Fancy Nancy can use her loofah in conjunction with a white towel. You lather soap on it and it goes on white and if it doesn’t come back white then clearly you have missed a spot. Don’t be shy, we are humans its okay to miss some areas. The only time my towel was off-white was during my stay in Harare. The water there just conspired against me.
The white dress
Marriage is a lotta hard work. I wouldn’t know but these divorce statistics are all the proof I need. I didn’t know there was anything bigger than my pride but turns out my dislike for responsibility is a strong contender. I’d rather be considered a failure for being unmarried than carry the responsibility that cometh with the wedding dress. With the white dress comes great responsibility. Your family has tripled in size, yours, your kids and the inlaws and guess what, so have your troubles. Now you are responsible for your children and their behaviour. They never blame the father. Its always the mother that is blamed for a wayward child. In my culture, dreaming of a wedding dress is a bad omen and for some women its all they can dream of.
White walls and floors
There’s a reason why white walls are described as ‘clinical.’ What’s cleaner than clinics well clinics that aren’t in Zimbabwe anyway. Some people don’t feel the need to wash their walls and most opt for paint or wallpapers that disguise the dirt. If your walls are white, you have no choice but to scrub them down regularly. We had a maid that wouldn’t scrub the hardwood floors. So she would pile floor polish on dirt upon dirt upon dirt. The dirtier the floor, the thicker she would lay on the polish. And yet she would mop the white ceramic tiles three times a day.
I would sooner make out with a guy with a set of blinding pearly whites that one that has an expensive grill made of diamonds and gold. (This isn’t written in stone though.) Actually, the jury is still out on that one. Nothing slows down the action like amber teeth well maybe the amber traffic light. (Ay, I’m a blogger not a comedian.) Fortunately, God blessed me with gaped teeth so flossing is optional but good oral hygiene is always mandatory. Teeth should only come in one color…WHITE.
I am so enwhitened. I hope you are too.
Like it, Learn from it, Share it…consider me your very own Ellen G White.