11 Jun We Know You’re Knocked Up Please Knock it Off
What inspires a woman to hide a bulging baby bump?
Quite recently I watched Busiswa and Cardi B in music videos trying very hard to hide their baby bumps and I was like its so awkward and hard to watch. Especially for Busiswa, it was such a mess. And then it hit me, societal norms were back at it hard at work policing women’s bodies.
Our males counterparts like intercourse without the responsibilities. How can I dance and drink to Busiswa’s songs when she looks like a careless night that ended in damages and child maintenance? Worse with Cardi B, how can I look at a former stripper lustfully when she is clearly off the market? Its kinda hard to “beat your meat” to a pregnant woman. Nah, nobody wants to see that, put it away!
“I’ll be frank here: 3000 years of feminine sexual repression, abuse, shaming, guilt and fear handed down through culture and religion has weighed mighty heavy on our ability to let go sexually. Pretty much not one of us women has emerged unscathed.” Layla Martin (Epic Sex Guide For Lovers)
Wait, you’re an unmarried woman bearing the fruits from holy matrimony? That’s an abomination!
If you subscribe to the existence of the dark arts like I do, you already know that in our culture when a woman falls pregnant, she has to keep the pregnancy a secret for the first trimester. I don’t know why they say exactly three months but I suppose it gets a little trickier to hide anytime after that.
Pregnancy needs to be a beautiful time in a woman’s life. Its especially hard for the women in the entertainment industry. Having a baby could be seen as an inconvenience. Imagine if Cardi B’s management was to say, “You’re at the peak of your career, no you can’t take 3 years off to be a mummy. If you lose momentum now, Nicki Minaj’s upcoming album will drown you and your 15 minutes will be up.” You don’t have to imagine, things like this are said to women every single day.
Remember the pay gap debate? Remember how women were hardly hired because they would need martenity leave? And the business can’t wait all that time.
Closer to home, when a girl gets pregnant outside wedlock. There is still a stigma and shame that you cannot avoid. Her family will choose to lock her up in the house to hide their shame or she will start to wear baggy clothes to disguise her ‘mistakes.’ Here’s what I want, I want women to choose. If you chose to have sex and now you’re pregnant, wear your consequences with pride. Be proud of the cards that you have been dealt. Don’t pass on that resentment, guilt and shame to your unborn baby. Yes, the unborn baby can pick up on those vibes.
I am strategically built. I always look 12 months pregnant so when it finally does happen that I have an angel in my ultrasound, you won’t know until I say so or until the baby is right in front of you.