Imagine you go the clinic and the doctor says to you, “You need a $600 injection for the ailment that you have.” And that $600 is the first of many medical bills including operations, equipment and your stay at the hospital. Chances are you didn’t have $30 required to go visit a private doctor and that’s why you opted for the government clinic that only costs $5 for a consultation. And now you need money that you clearly don’t have. You look up your symptoms on Dr Google and he confirms that you are low key dying. What would you do?

You turn on the TV and peep these new age prophets performing all sorts of miracles. If their God can do the insignificant weight loss miracles then clearly your problem also has room. You watch the channel a little more and see all those testimonies where HIV disappeared and tumours are a distant memory. And for as little as a love gift or a donation, you can have anointed water/oil that cures everything. So you sell everything you got and travel across the continent for your miracle. TBH I’d also take being laid hands on as opposed to getting cut up in these government hospitals where they leave equipment in you. I get why this is so appealing.

sangomaAnd the older generation will slam the youngins for going to these prophets and completely forget that they themselves sat on a floor made of goat skin and consulted a nyanga, witchdoctor, sangoma whenever things went sideways. This is what G Craig Lewis meant when he said, “Africans sure can conjure up the devil.” The stories about the stuff people do in the bushes are alarming. Nothing about that lifestyle is healthy. It’s so rife that when I went for my VIAC the questionnaire was required to ask me if I had put muti in my honeypot. I’m signing up for PETA because the animal cruelty for rituals is disturbing. I’d rather go naked than bath in goat blood. (Scary but catchy)

My belief is that, as King Lear would put it, “Nothing can come from nothing.” All these magicians are getting these powers from somewhere. When you consult them of course they know your problems. P4CM poet Ezekiel said in his poem entitled ALMOST SAVED. “The devil only tells lies when they’re almost the truth.” Maybe they have a social network as agents of darkness. They will be well aware of your issues because their comrades probably caused them. Notice witchdoctors hardly ever have anything good to say, you are always dying, in danger and your aunty is jealous of you. A house divided against itself can’t stand. DIVIDE and CONQUER. When you are suspicious of each other its game over!

My point is, there is a price to pay for indulging in these things. Spiritual things are tricky. You are making transactions you don’t know you’re making til you’re fifty and can’t have kids and you wonder why. It’s hard to reason when you are desperate but quick fixes aren’t the solution. The moment you go in you can’t come out. There will always be something that needs fixing. We all wanna know what the future holds. From watching prophets, to visiting nyangas and even reading the horoscopes. Everybody has their own way of finding cheat sheets through life.