Treating myself better is an inside job and out. It means I need to do some soul searching on so many levels and start to treat myself better in all aspects. Gotta run due diligence and begin to sort out the kinks one by one. Well, not all the kinks.
Putting myself before others
I deliver more for other people than I do for myself. I don’t make myself a priority and my selflessness is harmful to my personal wellbeing. The people pleaser in me will spread herself thin doing the most for other people and won’t do things that we need for our own personal gains. When faced with conflict, I will let the other person get their way because I don’t want to go through the emotional drama of having to fight with them. My opinions are valid and I need to be brave to stand for them. This is important especially in my business relations when the wrong opinion can cost me money. I must find the big girl, lady boss voice and have the final say.
Knowing my worth
This means I need to stop the thing. The thing with me is that when someone tries to hire me, I get shy to charge them so I do the work for free or under charge to that general amount. I need to come to understand that I am very good at what I do and should be compensated as such. Not just financially but in every other aspect as well. I shouldn’t allow people to make me feel less of my self or for them to treat me like they are doing me a favour when they are doing things for me that they should have been doing in the first place.
Learning to let go
When I moved back home, I couldn’t believe how much stuff we had hoarded as a family. Things we’ve had since we moved in 21 years ago. You could say we are really good at keeping things or on the other hand, we are really bad at letting go. I put my sisters and my mum through an exercise of throwing stuff away as a way of teaching them to let go. My mother won’t let you throw anything away. She thinks she needs it all even if its broken. Which is weird cause she is also the award winning holder of grudges. I can’t prove the link between the two yet.
There’s a lot that needs to be done, clearly but I am here for it. I don’t want to continue living this way and continue being unhappy. Its time to leave the comfort zone and blossom into the spit viper that I was destined to be.