An Aida Marie underwear model advert landed in one of my Whatsapp groups and I had seen it before when I was in Bulawayo and I didn’t apply. But then, here it was again. Is this a sign?

My friend and I then decided to toy around with the idea of me becoming an underwear model. I have reservations about it. My body issues are a truckload and I worry I won’t make the cut. They said ‘ALL sizes’ on the flyer but there are side effects to being my size. Stretch marks being the main worry. Unless the make-up artist is a full body expert. I don’t trust photographers to retouch the pictures to perfection without being caught out.

What’s the possible harm that could arise from this?
Well, in conservative Christian Zimbabwe, it might not work out well even though all these people wear underwear everday they don’t wanna see it being advertised. Had a friend whose church wouldn’t allow her to sell underwear at her flea market stand. It made no sense to me at all. And it still makes no sense til today. Underwear models can only be Americans that we don’t know or Boity or even mannequins but never the girl from down the road that you know personally.

Are my friends and family ready to see that much of me on a billboard?
They had better! Firstly, before any of them judges me for it, I’ll need financial statements that show how much they have sent me over the years to tide me over. And since none of them have been funding my lifestyle, then none has the right to judge me for getting this money where it’s at. Put your money where your mouth is.

How will this affect my brand?
How should I know? I can’t see the future. Plus you cannot predict Zimbabweans. All I know is, if the price is right then I’m game. On a more serious note, my brand is about female liberation and girls getting it so I guess being an underwear model fits into that. It’s a tight fit but fit all the same.

Unfortunately, while I was still doing the numbers on the possibility of being an underwear model, I missed the application deadline. So, you can rest easy.. for now. You will not be seeing me in my underwear anytime soon.