What if you discovered today that your father is a rapist?

You can’t even imagine it, it’s too bad to be true and yet for some people it’s a reality. The man you know as daddy is someone else’s Diabolos.

Thembi how do you know for sure?

Because no man is an island! We all have relatives in this wonderful circle of life. And as much as you’d rather pretend that rapists were manufactured somewhere and aren’t tied to any bloodlines, they are.

Not only are they your family, they are your friends too.

Matthew 12:34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

A motivational speaker once said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth leaks.” You can tell a lot about a person based on the kind of things that they find funny. I do not associate with people who find humor in rapey jokes.

But Thembi it’s just jokes.

If it’s just jokes, why do people lose their marbles when you crack “Yo Momma” jokes. Not so funny now them jokes are they?

Jokes are only funny because they are loosely based on the truth. Yes, the chicken does cross the road and we still don’t know why. That’s why some people are upset with Dave Chapelle because he covered up some truth bombs with humour. His comedy special dragged people because there was some truth to it.

If you wanna know how someone truly feels about you, listen to the quips that they make about you in the midst of playful banter. They’ve been dying to tell you how they truly feel about you and joking about it is like the truth but in a funny disguise. Pay attention.

When I see rapey jokes I don’t laugh. I cringe and get upset because some of those “jokes” I’ve seen in real life. When the fuel crisis started, there were jokes online by Zimbabwean men that I followed about how, “The fuel price is too high for me to drive all the way to Ruwa for just a hug.” I shouldn’t even have to explain why this entitlement is disgusting, we covered it in the Followback Mentality blog post.

This already says to me, you equate her body to the price of fuel from Harare to Ruwa. It doesn’t matter if she wants to or not, but because you’ve already driven there she must absolutely have sex with you. Some guy even went as far as having a bumper sticker on his car that says, “No ride is free. Ass or Gas?”

You think to yourself, oh it’s a funny bumper sticker until you get in and realise nope, that was the full disclosure upfront.

The red flags are everywhere. You need to pay attention. Humans will always reveal who they are, you just need to listen. The rapists and rapist apologists roam freely among us looking as normal as you and me.

I have an aunt, in her 50s going through menopause. She’s recently started dating and has this one guy that she’s been entertaining. A divorcee with grown kids. He kept insisting that they meet at his house, she would not budge. Ultimately, she gets her best friend to accompany her and the guy says, “If you hadn’t brought your best friend, today I was gonna rape you for sure.”

1. How were the women supposed to respond?
2. Where is this rapey joke funny?