Turns out we live in a world where weaves are a life goal. I don’t know if its the country bumpkin in me or the poverty spirit but I just have not been attracted to that type of lifestyle. I am genuinely happiest when my hair is short and natural (mfushwa.) But in the land of the ignorant, they can’t being to comprehend that some people are happier with natural hair, to them kinky hair is a sign of poverty. I really hate the hassle of having extensions in my hair, it’s absurd. I don’t need extensions to look better unlike you. I’d refer these uneducated, superficial women to research that has been done about the damage that is being done by relaxer chemicals to our scalps, but why bother, firstly, they can’t read and secondly they don’t have brains that we can worry about being polluted by relaxer.

Here’s my official statement about these girls, you are so uncomfortable in your own skin that you need all these trimmings to validate you. But lemme teach you something real quick, when someone says, “nice weave” it doesn’t equate to “you’re beautiful” a weave can be nice whilst its in the packet. You outchea in camouflage that is fake nails, lashes and war paint (make-up) because genuinely beauty is a struggle for you and that’s ok honey do you just don’t do it close to me.

There’ll be plenty of time to pamper myself but I understand that right now I am in a place of sowing and a time to reap shall come. Sacrifices must be made right now so that my future can be secured. I get that you have an expensive weave but how will that help you five years down the line? All the money that I get right now is going towards my investments and I’m guaranteed that at least 75% of them will pay out. Anyways, collect all your old weaves, you’ll need them in the future maybe to sew a blanket with the long thread of regret that is your life.

PS: I’m 25 and I have my name on more than just a relationship status.