Love & Life

My Phone Usage Policy and Why I Don’t Respond

I find social media exhausting. For a long time I used it as a time filler or a source of entertainment. I’d go to bed tired and yet having accomplished absolutely nothing towards my dreams and goals. Being a keyboard…

I don’t care who he is don’t go to his house

We shouldn’t have to set precautionary measures for our daughters. Teach your male relatives to STOP RAPING WOMEN. Now that all protocol has been observed let’s get into it. “You should’ve never went to his house at night.. what did…

Why I won’t leave him for you

I’ve been listening to that Msizkay, Awakhiwe and Mzoe7 Ngawuzw’ umoya wami song and I got to thinking about all the people who have expressed their romantic interest in me. I haven’t a clue what it feels like to like…

Don’t walk on eggshells around me

Most of my friendships deteriorated not because we fell out of love but because it felt like I was walking on thin ice and they were pussyfooting on eggshells around me. The situation got so awkward to the point where…

Don’t Assume Yourself into a Relationship

You can’t ever ask a man, “What are we?” It’s too much pressure they say. Just go with the flow they suggest. Just have fun and what’s yours will unveil itself. Pish posh me thinks. "Erotomania" is a type of…

Put this down for your life to pick up

When you’ve worked really hard and things still don’t work out it’s heartbreaking and devastating. You followed the rules, put in the work and the results don’t reflect that and you want to know why? From personal experience, I can…

There’s No Real Formula to Getting Married

Unless you have access to Love Potion #9 there is no way you can make someone marry you…for true love anyway. Kikky BadAss got married and her bride price was a major hot topic online. Among the jesters and trolls…

God Already Created Men, Why Should You?

Nobody’s perfect, we know this. It’s a tired alibi for people that don’t want to change or want to make excuses for their shortcomings. Based on this aged adage, women are driven to Alladdin it and find that diamond in…

Sometimes the Dead Beat Dad Comes Back

So Boity popped off on the #UtatakhoRemix and I was reeling with emotion. I knew I had to write a whole blog post about absent fathers and deadbeat dads. When @Boity said "my Dad was alive but his presence wasn't…

Are the People Around You Ruining Your Life?

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been down with a bug. Yesterday it got so bad that I finally went to the clinic with Mr. W. I had severe headaches, joint pains, nausea, diarrhoea, fever, shortness of breath and…

Breakfast Made Me Fat & Sluggish

I used to watch a soapie called Backstage when I was little. On Backstage, they had a morning radio program called Juice, and the opening billboard would say, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, with juice.” Do…

I’ll Take Your Man!

This blog post is for my kleptomaniacs who have sticky fingers for other people’s husbands. I’m not judging, I know nothing about your relationships and thus I’m not allowed to have an opinion. What I do have, however, is a…

You Don’t Love Your Mom?

Mother’s’ Day is coming up and not everybody will be celebrating. https://twitter.com/tashahhk/status/1077830611405062145 Other people don’t love their mothers. This is scandalous borderline blasphemous but it happens and we need to discuss these matters that we’d rather refrain from. There are…

I Wasn’t Ready To Be A Step-Mother, So I Left

Becoming a step-parent isn’t for everyone and I for one, wasn’t about to take on this responsibility. I left. I don’t have kids of my own yet and it’s something I’d like in future. He had kids already and was…

I’ve Been Stupid, But Never This Stupid

If you had to choose between marriage and money what would you choose? We all know what I’d choose. Money over everything unless that marriage is into money then in that case I’d choose marriage. Relationships are a delicate balancing…

I Can’t Believe What I Did For Love

I finally found true love! The god of Ciara’s love life had mercy on me. Everybody knows all about relationships. Everywhere you look you’ll find relationship advice and if you go on Twitter, you’ll find the worst relationship advice. Its…

Of Course She Wore a Ring on Her Finger

[et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text] Have you noticed that most women in racy videos wear a wedding ring? Being in a risqué music video could potentially taint the artist’s image and wearing a ring is automatically supposed to make it all better. Still...

STOP: Compromise Is Not The Answer

The new year doesn’t only come with new goals and new resolutions. It also brings about new issues and new pressures. With the turn of the year, we are coming from wedding season, engagement season and the season where family…

I Nearly Became A Witch

The road to hell is really paved with good intentions. When you read ‘witch’ you automatically assumed that I was a naked, hyena riding, potion making witch and although that’s where witches end up, I wasn’t at that level yet….

I Unfriended All 5000 Of My Facebook Friends, Here’s Why

First of all, thanks to a Google Chrome extension, I was able to remove all my friends with a single click so it’s not as dramatic as it sounds. What I used to do with my Facebook was to connect…

How To Get Married in Easy Priyanka Steps

Who else has been following the fairytale that is Priyanka and Nick Jonas’ romantic love affair? If you need the backstory, you can look up either one of their Instagram accounts. I was shocked when I heard they were together….

I Don’t Regret Walking Away, but Here’s What I’d Do Differently

Many of my friends around me are unhappy with their lives and I’ve been wondering why because I am equally unhappy with where my life is. I’d hate to think that it’s because misery loves company. After endless DMCs with…

How The Followback Mentality Is Killing Us

Does anyone do anything for nothing these days? Are we all doing stuff for other people secretly hoping that they will do something back for us in return? On Twitter, which is where I first found out about the followback…

Imma Be First In Line to Write My Provisional Learner Driver’s Test Online

I had a Provisional license but it expired and now I need to rewrite for a new one. I was glad when I stumbled upon a tweet about how from December we’ll be writing the Provisional test online. No you…

I’ve Taken Up Mindfulness Colouring for Adults

I have taken up a new hobby in Mindfulness Colouring. Mindfulness colouring is like meditation, sort of. While you colour, you focus only on what you are doing there and then and cease to think about the future or anything…

5 Times Girls Get Ariana Grande’d in Real Life

Girls get touched on inappropriately more than you think. It was just shocking that for Ariana Grande it happened live in HD by a leader of the church. In the Kombi Some commuter omnibuses are smaller than others. You could…

Why Boity’s #WuzDat is Important for Women

When I first heard that Boity was going into rap I was skeptical TBH. I was like oh my gosh, it’s Paris Hilton’s musical career all over again. Imagine being able to come for your ex and his protégé. Two…

He Won’t Tell You, But I Will…

Your marriage is falling apart and he is thinking about leaving you. That’s the big secret. I understand the pain that you must be going through I really do and here’s a couple more things that he isn’t going to…

Finding Accommodation in Harare

Moving from Bulawayo to Harare was a strategic career move. Harare is where the money’s at. Actually Harare is where everything and everyone is at. Except my family members. I don’t have family in Harare. So every time I move…

Calling Out His Sidepiece On Social Media Won’t Stop The Cheating

I can’t say this enough. I bumped into a video on Twitter where an Econet brand activator was assaulted by a very annoyed woman. The woman holds the Econet girl by the ear and tells her to leave her husband…

We Know You’re Knocked Up Please Knock it Off

What inspires a woman to hide a bulging baby bump? Quite recently I watched Busiswa and Cardi B in music videos trying very hard to hide their baby bumps and I was like its so awkward and hard to watch….

Cheese’d Off About This Chisi Story

By now we’ve all seen the video that went viral of Chisi lower 6th girls singing a song. Even as a non-Shona speaker I could tell that that wasn’t going to end well especially on video. Anyway, its happened now…

Are You Losing Sleep Over His Cheating?

Whether you know it or you don’t we’ve all been cheated on. But how we deal with it is what differentiates the jail birds from the love birds. Once you find out that you’re being cheated on, should it stress…

Invasion of Privacy: Babes Ulodubo

Ever had somebody betray your trust? Where they came out and told a story that they had no right to tell? Imagine being homosexual and somebody dragging you out of the closet before you are ready. This is basically what…

How He Probably Mastered The Art Of Owning You

Have you ever been so in love that it defies all reason? That love that is irrational, wild, rebellious and vicious. Where your partner is perfection and can do not wrong. The love that has you curving other men ruthlessly…

The One Thing I Don’t Need For My 28th Birthday

I don’t know of it’s the spirit of poverty operating in my life but I have never really known what I want for my birthday. It’s hard for people to get me gifts because how could you possibly know what…

Lessons Every Girl Should Steal From Beyonce Videos

Nobody has watched more Beyonce videos than I have. You’d be lying. I have watched the music videos, live performances, interviews, behind the scenes and movies repeatedly. There was a time I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Now…

10 Things Everybody Ought To Know About Thembi Terry

  I am loud and sometimes proud of it. When I get excited my volume goes up. And like Halle Berry I’m kinda deaf in one ear. I am lactose intolerant and allergic to peanut butter. Funny thing is I…

How Alcohol Helped Me Become An Amazing Girlfriend

I once dated this guy who could drink like a fish. This was way outta my character because I had grown up afraid of men that drink. Not because anything bad happened but because I watched too many Tyler Perry…

Confessions Of A Woman Who Really Hates Children

Getting into public transport is an experience on it’s own but the worst thing is getting into a kombi and sitting next to a woman with a child or even worse… two children. She can’t afford to pay for the…

What My Playlist Revealed About My Love Language

What is a love language? We were in the car, straight chilling like we usually do on the weekend. And my hommie says to me, “Please play me some romantic love jams.” DJ Thembi Terry then pulled out her tab…

Finally Got Tested For HIV…Orally

Love is in the air cause Valentine’s Day. I’ve always thought this is a very good time to raise awareness on issues around sexual and reproductive health. World Condom day is on the 13th of February, coincidence? I think not….

Guest Blog: Of Being Called Valentina On Valentine’s Day

Way before I knew what Valentine’s Day was, way before I knew what love was and even before I could appreciate the sentiment behind romantic love, I knew one thing. My name was somehow connected to this apparently very special…

How To Ruin Your Reputation After Death

Where I come from, you can’t speak ill of the dead. No matter how scandalous the person was, at their funeral, you are expected to celebrate the good things about them and remember their sins no more. But Hollywood had…

Luxury Buses: Can’t Afford Them, But Can’t Live Without Them

During the festive break, I decided to take a trip to my hometown of Bulawayo, which is 6 hours away from Harare. I woke up at the crack of butt to get to the bus that leaves at 7:30am. Obviously,…

5 Things That Always Improve My Mood

Sometimes you wake up and the world has just decided to turn against you for no reason. And it’s so easy to slip into depression or sadness at varying levels. It’s important to find the things that your body likes…

Parental Tithes And Learning To Forgive Your Parent

My best friend of 11 years and counting Kennedy Fambarega has decided to pursue his passion in Photography (Click here to see his work). What this means is that we are now a trio with his camera because it goes…

10 Things Sex Won’t Do For You

Sex is not the weapon of mass destruction that it has been made out to be. I think wives should pay special attention to this reality. Conjugal rights are so vital that even prisoners that have been deprived of other…

So Your Man Thinks Your Friend is Cute

Why be Solange Knowles when you can be Beyonce Knowles? I don’t mean to incite sibling rivalry or whatever. All I’m saying is there is good and there is great. When you look at your squad, where do you rank…

EnWhitened: Reasons Why I Love Whites

I don’t like responsibility. Being the first of five kids and having to look out for all of them can make the idea of responsibility repulsive. My dislike for responsibility is the reason why I’m sterile. Well, not really, but…

Why You Lying?

I sat there slap-jawed and starry eyed as Britney Spears thoroughly humiliated herself with a clumsy, sloppy, un-rehearsed performance…after Beyonce no gaal. (They really set her up for failure.) The only thing I found more awkward than her  was the…

The Contraception Misconception

Why is it that when people see a woman with a Jadelle in her arm that automatically translates to she’s having unprotected sex? Well, maybe she could be and that’s her choice and the whole point of contraception. For a…

Always A Diva, Never A Bridesmaid

Planning a wedding is always a trying time. From financial considerations to cultural conflicts, planning the best day of your life (arguably) can be a stress and you need to be surrounded by a team that follows the plan not…

Home Made Plastic Surgery

We all want to be flawless like Beyonce. But we can’t all wake up like this…from a plastic surgeon’s table. Of course if our financial situation was more cooperative we would have also had plastic surgery done to alter our…

Choice Assorted Breeding

Do you know why Choice Assorted biscuits are the best? Well because they offer so many variations, options, etc. And that’s great cause it caters for the whole family but… its not a very smart family planning strategy. Many families…

Ladies Let’s Get INFORMATION.

So as a black woman you’re a second class citizen, positioned at the bottom of the societal food chain. You’re sitting there spectating the oppression olympics and getting the wrong end of the batton constantly. And you’ve been wondering who…

Don’t Do Me Any Favours

Saviour syndrome is people basically running around playing Jesus with other people’s lives. Whereby somebody feels like you were nothing before they came along. These are usually ‘Know-It-Alls’ and they offer advice that you haven’t asked for. I find them…

J, K, L, Magicians, Nyangas, Omens, Prophets, Q, R

Imagine you go the clinic and the doctor says to you, “You need a $600 injection for the ailment that you have.” And that $600 is the first of many medical bills including operations, equipment and your stay at the…

Nothing sweet about 16

From 25 November, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, to 10 December, Human Rights Day, the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign is a time to galvanize action to end violence against women and girls around…

Qualified without qualifications

I had dropped outta college last year and I was dead set on never going back to finish my degree. I had actually convinced my father #MHSRIP into coming around to my way of thinking. My winning argument was, “Daddy,…

Guilt Trips Of Grief

“Tragedy brings people together,” and that’s fine in the movies but what they didn’t tell you is how long they stay together thereafter. I don’t know what it is about grief that compels people to make promises they can’t deliver….

Pick N’ No-Pay

I’m gonna keep writing about how I got stolen from until I stop hurting about it. The lyrics that keep running through my mind are from Coldplay’s Fix you, “When you lose something you can’t replace.” I always thought there…

The Statement (Hypothetical)

My bags got stolen from a well known supermarket (name withheld til a logical conclusion is reached.) The matter could not be reported at the closest police station because its always closed. Its a common case of the will they,…

The Optimus Dime

I always knew that all those make over shows would have adverse effects on the female psyche. The developments in make-up artistry have demonstrated that things are never what they seem. I’ve never liked surprises and turns out the gents…

The Lunch: Whatsapp commentary

  [12:41, 1/21/2015] CARAMEL: Happy lunching’ [12:43, 1/21/2015] CINNAMON: Have fun [12:44, 1/21/2015] #LongMaySheReign: She makes me nervous [12:44, 1/21/2015] CARAMEL: Yeah-bow? [12:45, 1/21/2015] CHOC-CHIP: Hahaha [13:12, 1/21/2015] #LongMaySheReign: We at Pistachio’s looks fancy [13:13, 1/21/2015] CARAMEL: Wow [13:13, 1/21/2015]…

Keeping up Appearances

I’ve been following the turbulent tale of Miss Zimbabwe 2014. First, we had Miss Thabiso Phiri, who abdicated the troubled throne for unknown reasons. The media claimed that nudes of the said beauty queen leaked but the way the internet…

The Empire of Blood, Sweat and Tears

I get that people need to have some level of aggression in business. But there’s a trend that I’m seeing more and more especially being here in the big city. Whereby ‘entrepreneurs’ use and abuse people at will just to…

NO New Friends…My girls and I

So every girl deserves her own lipstick mafia and God has blessed me with dope ride-or-die friends. Sifiso Mabhena, Sandiswe Bhule, Heather Dube, Cherish Ntuli, Tash Manzungu, Sdumie. C Moyo, Rozalliny Munemo and Sithabiso Ndhlovu. These are the women that…

My love for Miniskirts

So the Katswe Sistahood held a miniskirt march last week that ended up trending on Twitter. Which is an achievement but a waste because they failed to use their Twitter to channel and facilitate all the dialogue that was taking…

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