With the raging conversation around mental health issues, it seems like we are getting caught up in the wave and we are what Kwirirayi calls, “self-diagnostic” generation. One bad day doesn’t equate to being depressed and being tired isn’t the same as having a burn out. Do we know the difference?
Should we tell people to suck it up and keep it going?
When I feel tired, I can’t crank myself up to do anything. I genuinely cannot force myself to do the work required of me. That costs me money and productive time. The deadline doesn’t shift because you are under the weather. The deliverables are the deliverables. Sometimes I need someone to tell me to get my act together and get cracking. But is that what I really need though?
I’m the only one who knows the extent of my exhaustion and how much I can take before reaching the breaking point but what if I’m being too easy on myself? What if I have more to give and I’m just not pushing myself enough? What if my feelings are fake news and I am not as tired as I thought? What happens then?
How come when I’m unstable it’s only my side gigs that suffer?
This is a really good question. When I was working in advertising, I had to be creative at the drop of a hat. The deadline was tight and the client was a tight ass and still I made deadline. But when it comes to blogging, I give into my whims of being too tired to write. Does this mean that I’m too soft on myself? Do I prioritise other people’s dreams at the expense of my own? Why can I go above and beyond no matter the circumstances when I’m at work but I don’t carry the same energy into projects that I actually own?
I really can’t tell you what the difference between self-sabotage and self-care is because I haven’t found the balance in my own life. When I’m doing home work-out videos I pass out after 10 minutes whereas when we were at SweatNation I could push a whole hour even when my whole body was on fire at the brink of death. Clearly I had it in me and I didn’t apply myself enough. Accountability seems to be the difference between the two. Are we ready for that amount of accountability?