How many times have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t deserve this?” What was the incident? The one time that stands out for me was when I was facing heavy spiritual warfare and things were falling apart like a piece of African literature. My question was, I keep to myself and mind my own business, where in the world did I sow such chaos for me to be reaping it now?
We grew up hearing that you reap what you sow, but some life experiences are hard to pinpoint where you sowed the results you are reaping. You can be sowing kindness and reaping evil in return for your good. It happens. Haven’t you heard people ask, “why do bad things happen to good people?”
But, what if you are getting less than you deserve and it’s completely your fault?
I’ll give you an example, the Imposter Syndrome will negotiate you out of rooms you worked hard to get into. So, just because you don’t feel adequate, you start feeling like you don’t deserve the opportunities that are coming your way. And sometimes it gets so severe that you actually turn down opportunities because you are scared you’re under qualified, and you’re sure to fail. I remember this one time, we had to compete for an opportunity, when the other contender heard my pitch, she went and withdrew her name from the running. My pitch was great, yes, but what if she had gone through with it and won? Now we’ll never know because she backed out.
Your mind lies more than the devil himself.
Now imagine you have low self-esteem issues, and you have misled yourself into thinking that you don’t deserve love. It happens. We stay in toxic relationships because we think that’s the best that we can do, and we are undeserving of a miracle love story. We look back on the foul things we’ve done and our past mistakes and say, “if I let this person go, I’ll die alone.” Society will be right there with you, telling you how you’re undeserving of love because you’re damaged goods or a return soldier.
How many things have you lost out on just because you felt like you didn’t deserve them?
Not knowing what you deserve opens you up to being robbed and plundered (I’ll further discuss this in the African Traditional Religion ATR blog post). So think of it like this, you’re someone who’s been called for a reading of a will. If you don’t know the inheritance owed to you, or the estate being discussed, some things may be stolen from you because you didn’t know you’re owed them. As an alleged child of God, you need to familiarise yourself with the promises God made you. While the world is standing on business, you need to be standing on God’s promises for your life. Are you living in the top or bottom half of Deuteronomy 28?
This year, do whatever it takes to raise the expectations of what you deserve. Convince yourself that you deserve more, and you deserve it all (good things, that is). Imagine you’re a magnet, and you only attracted what you felt deserving of, how different would your life be?
Dream big! Aspire to the impossible because you serve a God that specialises in the impossible. Test him and let him show you how much higher His ways are above your ways. I used to observe Harare rental prices, and I never thought in my wildest dreams I would ever be able to afford the rent I’m paying now. Keep an open mind of how good life can get and watch yourself attain those things slowly but surely.
You can only live in an answered prayer if you actually prayed the prayer. The things you are hoping for, have you actually asked God for them? You can’t sit at home waiting for a delivery from Dial-A-Delivery or DoorDash if you never placed an order. Place an order with God today.
