Here’s what my parents being too busy to show up to any of my school events taught me, you don’t die! Walking up to the podium or being on the stage and there’s absolutely no one to say, “mwana wangu ndiyeye!” That kind of thing changes you but it’s not fatal. It’s taught me to applaud and to celebrate my damn self that’s why I’m saying, “don’t sign me up for silent moves.”
Don’t the witches scare you?
My friend Ameera Murad taught me the concept of the Evil Eye and how if you monologue your whole plan like a villain in a movie, the Evil Eye is bound to bungle your plans. Does this scare me? A little bit, I mean I watched Tshaka Zulu and Nollywood movies and that traumatized me. I remember when I had to go in for the Visa interview, I didn’t tell too many people. Cause I thought what if I don’t get the Visa and I have to tell all those people that I failed? Fear of embarrassment is why most of us subscribe to silent moves.
On the other hand, I am firm believer that whatever is for you, cannot be stolen. Delayed? Yes. Completely stolen? I’m not convinced. Anyways, just in case, maybe let’s just celebrate the end result and keep the process hush hush. Save that content for the self-help book you’ll write when you’re older.
The world will never applaud you honey
If you’re constantly waiting for the world to appreciate or to applaud you, your life will suck. Beyoncé says she stopped searching for validation from awards and it changed her life. Having been employed for over a decade I’m telling you now, there is no THANK YOU in the workplace. The salary is your token of appreciation. I kid you not, it’s literally a token. As a woman, I will have kids at some point and having this mentality will save me from feeling unappreciated because motherhood is a thankless sacrifice. Imagine going in addicted to THANK YOU’s…tragic.
No one but you knows how hard you’ve worked
I have been dragged into the depths of sadness and had to crawl out on my own. This made me appreciate myself more. I don’t give myself enough props for surviving some of the things I endured. Now I strive to celebrate every little milestone I conquer. Some of the things I thank myself for will seem insignificant to you but as someone who grew up self mutilating and chopping up my arm, I appreciate being genuinely happy. Cause I know what it feels like to wake up and want to end it all.
I want to live loudly and unapologetically
I am going to win some but I am also gonna lose plenty more. That’s how life is. I want to try, if I fail, I will fail loudly and still persevere cause life isn’t good news all the time. Not even the Good News bible is all yes and amen. I want you to see that. Beyoncé mentioned how she has won 24 Grammys but how she has also lost 46 times! The game of life is rigged and I would be lying to you and myself if I didn’t show you both sides. The story will be incomplete without them.
When I post my lover on my social media I get questions like, “what if you break up?” Well, I will post the new one, duh! I can’t constantly live with that fear of failure all the time. The love affair feels so good right now! Even if it falls apart, I am grateful that I even got to experience such an amazing human being.
Your self hype will be seen as arrogance
Celebrating yourself and your wins will have people outchea talking about how arrogant you are as if they will clap for you. You know how they say misery loves company? Yeah, there is someone out there who consoles themselves using you. Literally going to bed saying, “I had a bad day but at least I’m not Thembi Terry.” So when you start to win, tables get shaken and they can’t stand it. Your success becomes an insult to them and they are livid. Imagine living your life waiting for an applause from this kind. Not me.
You’re amazing! You’re doing well. Don’t think about everyone else. Shut out all the voices and do you. Who cares ukuthi abantu bazothini? Ultimately, all those people won’t be there at 3am when you’re alone with your thoughts. Do things that suit you. To thine own self be true.