I’ve been listening to that Msizkay, Awakhiwe and Mzoe7 Ngawuzw’ umoya wami song and I got to thinking about all the people who have expressed their romantic interest in me. I haven’t a clue what it feels like to like someone who doesn’t like you back in fact I’m lying I knew that feeling in high school I knew it too well. Ever since then I’ve vowed that I never wanna feel that way again.

Of course you like me it makes sense but I got a man. It’s not even like he’s a secret man I am publicly in a relationship. Sometimes he will even be on my profile picture and someone still feels the need to slide into my DM talking about how much he’s into me and I’m like what do you want me to do with that? Do you want him to leave? Do you want me to leave him for you? What must happen now?

Anyway, I’ve decided to explain why I would never leave him for you hopefully this puts your heart at rest.

1. You will never trust me.

I think from the get go if I left him for you that should automatically be a red flag. Because if I can be poached from one relationship what makes you think that I won’t be poached from a relationship with you? I have never understood this, how the side chick would be OK with being promoted to main chick. My trust issues would never let me thrive. I don’t remember which movie I heard this in about how if you steal something you have to spend the rest of your life trying to keep it. Do you really want to live like that?

2. I don’t want to be involved in your drama

So clearly there is something in you that wants to prove your worth as a man and you want to square off with my current man and I don’t want to be involved in your personal issues. Like Rihanna said, “you was just another nigga on the hit list trying to fix your inner issues with a bad chick,“ I don’t want to be involved. My relationship is worth much more than me helping you validate yourself as a man. So find a single girl and make it work. I get it though, because growing up they kept saying how men are predatory creatures that like the thrill of the chase so I get how this challenge would be such an adrenaline rush but rather you go jump off a cliff if you need it so desperately.

3. I genuinely love him

Here is what you probably did not factor into your plan that I have genuine feelings for this man. In the words of Avant in lie about us, “Don’t mistake the love we make for just lust,“ it’s the same thing here. I don’t know if I should feel insulted or flattered because on one hand clearly I’m not exhibiting my love enough on the other hand I am a bag of chips and you just wanna cop that. You see my confusion? I’m a lot I really am. He works hard and he effortlessly makes it look easy but being my man is far from easy. We’ve been through a lot and this algorithm is now set in it’s ways.

You’re in violation
Let me help you understand
Before we have a problem
I could take it there
When it comes to my man
Please, don’t let me solve ’em
Every day is a holiday
Every day’s our anniversary
You should think about the time you waste
‘Cause my last name ain’t gonna change

Ultimately, I think I have found my one and this is him. He gets me. He sees the method in my madness. Do you know how rare that is? Compatibility is on hundred percent. You know how it’s explained at the beginning of Beyoncé and JayZ’s Black Effect song, “it’s like when you take some eggs and break them. And you, take the shells and mix ‘em up. Trying to find the ones that match. And you find the perfect match. That compatibility results in passion. Results in unconditional giving of self.” That’s where I’m at and I happy. You can’t free a happy slave. I have found my one and I get how his mind works. It’s beautiful.

Anyways, he has a YouTube channel, you can watch it and hopefully you’ll see what my sapiosexual nature saw in him.