I have never walked into a hair salon and randomly picked a hairdresser to do my hair. Every person that has done my hair has been a referral. When I see someone with a hairstyle that I like, I ask them who did their hair. I never gamble with my hair. Ever! So why would you have an intern do my hair?

My friend put me onto the guy who currently does my hair (not anymore). We’d been friends with this girl for months so I knew the guy had skills. I started going there and gosh, what a wild ride.

The first time the intern did my hair, I nearly learnt how to astral project just to get away from my aching skull. He washed my hair in cold water in the peak of winter. He rubbed my hair so hard, I was dead sure my artificial dreadlocks would ignite a fire. I spoke to my friend, the referrer, about it and she said she had experienced the same thing and had requested to not have her hair done by him. I asked her to put me onto that special treatment. The next month, the intern didn’t do my hair, the hairdresser did.

I believe that doing hair is a gift that’s unique to specific people. I’m tempted to say it’s like having a green thumb but for hair. I don’t think the skill is 100% transferable. You can train the intern all you want but it will never match the hand of the master. When I come to you for your unique set of special skills, I do not want anyone else touching my hair. I get that the intern needs to practice but not on my head while I’m paying full price. If the intern does my hair, I expect an intern discount as inconvenience fees. Actually, as reparations because I feel disrespected that of all the clients, you deemed me unworthy of your hand. You prioritised another client above me. I’m the walkover who accepts mediocre work. I’m the guinea pig that your little grasshopper gets to practice on.

Beard Penguin GIF by Pudgy Penguins - Find & Share on GIPHY

Last month, the intern says to my husband that my extensions are now frayed and that I need to leave money for a new set of Marley Braid locs. I confirm the order with the hairdresser on Thursday for my Saturday appointment. I find the hairdresser sitting, eating cake like he is Marie Antoinette or something. I walk up to the chair and he disappears. Out of nowhere, the intern pops up and starts doing my hair. The hairdresser says there is no need for new extensions and illustrates how my dreadlocks should be repaired and proceeds to do another client’s hair. The intern visibly annoyed then does my hair for the next 5 hours.

If the intern had done my hair once or twice, I would have understood but now it’s looking like it’s a forever type deal and I ain’t with it. I saw the hairstyle that the intern attempted on me on the hairdresser’s Facebook and there is a vast difference. This is one of the many reasons why I will not be going back. Also, the intern is short. So he will ask you to slouch down so that he can reach the top of your head. When he is washing your hair, you have to prop up your own neck. I got a stiff neck from it once. If your neck is not stiff, it will be when you catch the rats scurrying around from the corner of your eye.

Animated GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

I don’t know what it is about women being afraid to speak up in the salon when things aren’t going to plan. My last salon visit I went with my husband and still I didn’t speak up. The hairdresser smiled from ear to ear as he was counting the US dollars and I just wanted to jump out the window and end my misery. I ignored the red flags. I had no business being in a hair salon I had to carry my own towel to. They had these blinding lime green towels with black patches and I was like NOPE! The hair dresser didn’t mind but I got quite the earful from the intern on some, “how dare you bring your own towel from home?

We were doomed from the start. My first ick was that I would set an appointment and he would always be late. I thought maybe I’m the impatient one. Every salon visit ended in endless whining and painkillers. Anyways, no more chances left for this hairdresser because my husband is sick of my complaining. I am officially banned from going back to that guy.

If you know a good loctician in Harare please let me know.

This blog post was a special request from Michelle Thanya! ❤️