Of all the things you could witchcraft for, why would you choose men? You are risking eternal damnation over a penised creature? Was he God’s last born on this green earth? Were there no men left? Even Andrew Tate?

Every time I scroll through TikTok, I will bump into some form of witchcraft. No matter how many times I mark them as ‘Not Interested,’ they keep popping up incessantly. I’m starting to suspect that marking your disinterest, makes them pop up more. With all this witchcraft readily available, you can learn several ways to bewitch your man without ever leaving your house to consult a witch doctor. But what’s the price to pay for using love potions to secure your crush? What are the consequences thereof?

In the Ndebele language we have a proverb that says, “okungapheliyo kuyahlola,” which means everything comes to an end. What happens when the love potion expires? How does the person who was bewitched feel? How does it affect the way that they perceive you? Will they continue loving you because hey, muscle memory? Actually, what if they find out that you have used love juju on them?

The way men are so disappointing, marriage is the only way I was willing to bind myself to one. If it goes belly up, I just go to the lawyers and tell them I made an ooopsies. What if you bind yourself to this man and you change your mind down the line? Is there an undo ritual? Even if there is, you are digging yourself deeper into this witch-crafting rabbit hole. I once heard of a story of a woman who used love potion on her man. The man was so enamoured with her that he quit his job to be beside her all day, every day. So now they were broke and she couldn’t leave him.

I watched the Bedazzled movie when I was a child and it’s one of those movies that stay with you. In the movie, this guy makes deals with the devil and soon realises that his wishes come with blessings in disguise. I’d like to think that it’s the same here. When you see a TikTok video about writing his name and calling him 3 times in the middle of the night, do they tell you the terms and conditions? Do they provide the terms of use? You dive in head first because you’re high off your ass from desperation and lust but how are you paying for it in return? Please watch the Princess and the Frog and get back to me.

What makes me believe that there is a price to pay? Well, if the Creator gave us free will and you take it upon yourself to override this free will, does this sound penalty-free to you? You think men are obsessive and controlling now, what about when they are spiritually driven and now his obsession is on steroids? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

When I think of all the times I cried over a man that left me in the past, I cringe. Imagine if I had used love charms to force things with that man. Would I be married the best thing to ever happen to me? I held a candle for a man for SIX years. Six years I prayed, fasted and begged God to bring that guy back to me. Now, when I get too prideful, I open his Facebook and remind myself of my foolishness. A teaspoon of humility is healthy for the soul.

If you dig deep enough, you’ll realise that the reason why you resorted to love juju isn’t love. Love needs no assistance. You either were desperate and you knew you couldn’t compete and so you resorted to performance enhancing herbs. Or you were being spiteful to another woman and your hate towards her made this poor sod collateral damage. I use the term “poor” loosely for the men who are unsuspecting victims.

The men who were eating food from strange women’s house and were fed period blood from the blood in the spaghetti recipe, I don’t feel sorry for you. You’re probably the men who hit on women by asking them, “so when are you going to cook for me?” Wouldn’t have these problems if you had taken her to a restaurant but ay the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. I also don’t feel sorry for men who got bewitched through sex. Where was your chastity belt?

How would you like it if it was done to you? One day you are crushing on Ashton at work. He has a job, car, a decent family and he is 100% your type. When all of a sudden you are attracted to a guy from your hood with no job, wakes up to sit at the shops to ask for beer money and the only thing he has to his name is a cigarette stub. Now you’re daydreaming about kissing his chapped lips that were sharing a communal scud with 16 other men all day by the slug table. I nearly threw up just imagining this. Could it be possible that he doesn’t want you for a reason?

All I’m saying is, love potions are now readily available online. Look at any of those videos and check the number of likes, comments and bookmarks. Kids are seeing these rituals on TikTok and they don’t understand the gravity of what they are signing up for. Crushes fuelled by hormones are very potent. Anyone can decide that it’s you they want, download your picture on social media, write down your name and bewitch you. I don’t even know how we can protect ourselves from this spiritual emotional rape. Celine Dion would like to encourage you to think twice before resorting to love charms. And should you be itching to partake in witchcraft, and it’s an absolute emergency for you to dabble in the dark arts, at least Harry Potter yourself some money.