So Boity popped off on the #UtatakhoRemix and I was reeling with emotion. I knew I had to write a whole blog post about absent fathers and deadbeat dads.

I don’t think we talk about the rejection enough from a parent. The rejection we get from job applications and lovers pales in comparison. Did you know that a baby can pick up on mom’s moods in the baby bump stage? The same way a baby can respond to music or the parent’s voice. Which means by the time they are born, they can tell that they were unwanted. It’s imprinted on their soul. That’s the worst cause the soul doesn’t forget. So we end up with broken human beings who don’t know why they are broken.

Watched Dave Chapelle and he said, women can do what they want with their bodies but if they keep the baby, the man shouldn’t have to pay. I wasn’t laughing and luckily for him Mr. W didn’t laugh as well. This is my issue with man babies, you wanna do grown men business but wanna be a baby when the responsibilities come.

The dead beats have the audacity to show up when things are going good for you. The mothers are way to polite, don’t cover up that you had a child with an idiot. Tell the children what happened, don’t pussy foot around the issue. Say it straight, your father is no good to anyone.

It takes two to tango, it’s biological sciences. It’s normal for the child to want answers about their heritage and where they come from. It’s a tough balancing act between finding answers without sounding ungrateful to the parent that was present. But if genealogy wasn’t important then why does the Bible dedicate chapters to family trees in the book of Kings?

I got pregnant at 19 and the guy ditched. You can read about here (I Was Pregnant). I know the pain of being left in the lurch and I don’t have the kids to show for it. I can’t imagine what it’s like to raise a child alone and when the child is an adult someone pop out of the woods and start claiming ownership. All of a sudden because the school fees and growing pains are over and the child is now making money and looking after the present parent. What’s worst is if the child is a girl and the dead beat dad only shows up to claim the roora/lobola/bride price for a child he didn’t raise. The audacity.

2 Comments

  • Sibonokuhle Alicia Mpofu
    Posted 2nd November 2019 5:25 pm 0Likes

    I pray so fervently that my daughter’s dad never comes back. It might sound selfish but I feel like her life will get so complicated if her does. It’s better for her to know he’s not around and live with that ,than to get upset at the resurfacing of a skeleton. My brothers are amazing father figures not to mention my own dad and my partner too(a man also raised by a step father) I highly doubt that she will feel the absence of a biological father.

What Did You Think?

©Copyright 2019 - Thembi Terry Zulu | Powered by NivaCity

× Text Thembi Terry
%d bloggers like this: