So Boity popped off on the #UtatakhoRemix and I was reeling with emotion. I knew I had to write a whole blog post about absent fathers and deadbeat dads.
When @Boity said "my Dad was alive but his presence wasn't so my mom was everything that he wasn't.. I could never be the one to ever judge him cause I turned out amazing so I ain't buggin I mean look at my life!!!" she took a page outta my book ✌🏽#uTatakhoremix
— Thapelo Q. Malope😉 (@Thapelo_Malope) October 19, 2019
I don’t think we talk about the rejection enough from a parent. The rejection we get from job applications and lovers pales in comparison. Did you know that a baby can pick up on mom’s moods in the baby bump stage? The same way a baby can respond to music or the parent’s voice. Which means by the time they are born, they can tell that they were unwanted. It’s imprinted on their soul. That’s the worst cause the soul doesn’t forget. So we end up with broken human beings who don’t know why they are broken.
or maybe my father denied me even though he was single…or maybe my mother was raped…
— Candle Jena🇿🇼 (@rutendoashleyy) April 24, 2019
Watched Dave Chapelle and he said, women can do what they want with their bodies but if they keep the baby, the man shouldn’t have to pay. I wasn’t laughing and luckily for him Mr. W didn’t laugh as well. This is my issue with man babies, you wanna do grown men business but wanna be a baby when the responsibilities come.
Single moms, please share your stories about how you told your baby daddy you were pregnant and what was his response. I just wanna see something.
Here's mine 🙄 pic.twitter.com/1zeHqQu7UL
— Karabo (@TheeeAnswer_) October 25, 2019
The dead beats have the audacity to show up when things are going good for you. The mothers are way to polite, don’t cover up that you had a child with an idiot. Tell the children what happened, don’t pussy foot around the issue. Say it straight, your father is no good to anyone.
12 years later we are still at it. I hope Lani shows up eventually. ❤ pic.twitter.com/XSKo76z9R2
— Sasa (@HotLedombi) October 25, 2019
Why do deadbeat men who abandon their fatherly duties expect help from children they never fed, sheltered or clothed?
It gets lonely and cold when they start aging & that's when they remember they have children. Just GTFOHWTDS https://t.co/kSbnKUD1yO
— Ramapithecus (@RamzZy_) December 16, 2018
It takes two to tango, it’s biological sciences. It’s normal for the child to want answers about their heritage and where they come from. It’s a tough balancing act between finding answers without sounding ungrateful to the parent that was present. But if genealogy wasn’t important then why does the Bible dedicate chapters to family trees in the book of Kings?
Absent fathers feel so entitled to love & support from a child they abandoned don't they ? Okungo swine.
— Ndlovukazi (@NessaNess_x) March 17, 2019
I got pregnant at 19 and the guy ditched. You can read about here (I Was Pregnant). I know the pain of being left in the lurch and I don’t have the kids to show for it. I can’t imagine what it’s like to raise a child alone and when the child is an adult someone pop out of the woods and start claiming ownership. All of a sudden because the school fees and growing pains are over and the child is now making money and looking after the present parent. What’s worst is if the child is a girl and the dead beat dad only shows up to claim the roora/lobola/bride price for a child he didn’t raise. The audacity.
Madoda, ukukhokha inhlawulo has nothing to do with isbongo sengane. Usuke ugeza umuzi wendoda owungcolisile.
— Someone's husband (@AndileMlondo) October 26, 2019