22 May This is why you left
She didn’t understand it. She wrestled with it.
She lay awake many nights and read the ceiling grappling with it.
She didn’t know why, but I do.
You weren’t enough, not then, not now. And you knew this. You saw my greatness coming before I did and that scared you because you were always gonna be known as ‘hers.’ That awkward silence when people applaud you for being mine and then ask, “So, what do you do for a living?” I have never felt more pity for a human being.
You stood beside me and although in stature you were greater, you have never felt so small in your life. I was more of a man than you are by the age of 16 when I acquired something you couldn’t – O levels. And at that point you knew you were underqualified and my ovaries outgrew your testicles.
I have never heard of a man that cheats on his wife with somebody smarter, richer and more intelligent. The other woman is usually in a more desperate situation and as the weak man that you are she is much easier to impress.
Had a friend that was older than me. He always dated high school girls. One after the other. And I asked him why. He explained to me that women his own age wanted too much of him. ‘Too much of him’ defined as they wanted him to not be living with his parents, to have a job and a car and to just be financially stable whereas the high school girls needed airtime and he would be exalted as king for just $1.
It wasn’t you.
It wasn’t me.
It was the situation.