Who determines the definition of toxic in relationships? Different people need different things. What’s good for me might not work for the gander. Humans are getting very creative in their self-destructive tendencies. We are broken and we need help. The idea of what love is has been perveted and we are all creating our own versions of love. I am not a love doctor but my theory is, if you can relate to the songs listed below, you may be in a toxic relationship.


P!nk featuring Lily Allen – True Love

I loved this song when it came out. I have loved everything that P!nk has come up with. But as I grew older and started really listening to the lyrics, I realised how faulty this idea of love is. The song has undertones of verbal and physical abuse. I get that the underlying message of the song is unconditional love but this is not a message we want our kids to hear about love. This is a song they will play to console themselves after a beating from a lover. Love shouldn’t hurt so much. Ja Rule is another one that was pushing that pain is love propaganda which is erroneous. Love is a beautiful thing.


Eminem featuring Rihanna – Love the way you lie

These two and warped love anthems, they take the cup, the saucer and the biscuit. I can still rap along to this song word for word. Eminem is the king of toxic relarionship anthems. Have you heard his “Spacebound” song? It takes obsession to a whole new level. Love the way you lie is horrible in its lyrical content and the video for the song isn’t any better. If you can relate to this song, you may need to re-evaluate the relationship that you are in.


Rihanna – Love on the Brain

This is a song about a girl that loves a man so much that she fist fights with fire just to get close to him. This is the kind of love that consumes you whole. An addiction that drives you to the brink of madness. You lose all logical reasoning and pursue it without caution. You know he will throw you against the wall but you cannot help yourself because you need him.


If you are in a toxic relationship, please find some help. Not all of them have a happy ending so please get out while you can. Speak to someone about the relationship and start drafting your exit strategy. Get some counselling to find out what inner issues you have that may have made you vulnerable to toxic people. You are strong, you can do it.