I have tried explaining what a High Value Woman is and I lost all steam each time. You can Google it when you can or just simply watch YouTube videos on the subject matter. Bottomline is, when you become a High Value Woman, you won’t have issues with attracting bad men.
Let’s start with the truth shall we? You are the reason why you are attracting and retaining bad men. There are some good men but you need to clear the fog before you can see them and attract them.
Here are some reasons why you’re stuck in a vicious cycle with trash men.
There’s 6 billion people and not all of them are bad
Of all the people in the world, you choose to entertain the dusties of the world. You don’t think you deserve good things and thus you settle for the bottom of the barrel. You just take what you can get. You think you are undeserving of true love. Someone lied to you honey, you deserve the very best and you need to believe that to attract that. Doesn’t matter how they said you’re damaged goods or that you’re cheap or that no one would ever want to marry you. We’ve all made mistakes and a crappy man isn’t your due punishment for any of them.
It’s what you like
The heart wants what it wants. You like them bad, you like them unavailable with mental issues. These bad men give you a pity project to work on. You have a Saviour Syndrome and you think you can fix them. You like to look down on them. Their brokenness makes you feel better about your own issues. You busy yourself with their issues as a distraction just so that you don’t have to face your own. Well Florence Nightingale, you know what you have to do.
It’s what you know
You grew up in a circus and the circus life is all that you know. The dynamics between your parents set the standard of what a life partnership should be and that’s what you are looking for. You grew up in a chaotic home and chaos is now your staple food. A nice, decent relationship is uncomfortable to you so you revert back to what’s familiar. It’s up to you to break the cycle.
It’s what you lack
The things you lacked as a kid have come back to bite you in your adulthood. Saw a tweet that said, “the older you is a young you.” I come from a blended home whereas my boyfriend comes from a family where his parents had kids with one another. When they say hurt people hurt people, they aren’t kidding. When we first started out I was doing things that made no sense to him because his family was ‘perfect.’
The way his family works was odd to me. I felt like everything I did was wrong. I had to change. Why? Because I knew between our family structures I wanted my kids to have his upbringing. It was uncomfortable to constantly learn and unlearn. Vulnerability, facing my demons and dealing with issues was hard AF but I had an end goal in mind. I had to heal so that my broken edges don’t cut the people around me.
You’re scared to want something only to be disappointed
Rejection really hurts! Disappointment is even worse. To protect ourselves from it, we then convince ourselves that we don’t want something so that when we don’t get it, it doesn’t hurt as much. Being with a bad man is like being with the devil you know. You expect him to hurt you. You’re disappointed but not surprised. Your mind has left room for disappointment and this cushioned you when it came to pass. For example, dating a single guy for years and he doesn’t marry you hurts much more than dating a married man whom you knew would never marry you. You had no expectations. You drove 200km/hr into this dead end on purpose. Your heart wore a helmet for the crash.
Dealing with your issues is the best thing to do. Do it for yourself, by yourself and heal yourself. When you have done your inner work, it will improve the quality of your life overall. You don’t know how much energy goes into lugging your issues around. These issues affect the way you make decisions. They decide what you are willing to accept and they determine what you attract into your life. It’s gonna hurt but it’s gonna be well worth it, I promise.