God puts people in our lives for a reason and a season. When that purpose has passed, that person must move on to their next season and so should you. We feel stuck because God sent destiny helpers to our lives and instead of fulfilling a purpose, we fulfilled the lust of the flesh instead.

Sex outside of marriage is messy. 

Someone was sent to help you and you assumed that connection was for you to jump each other’s bones? God sent people to help one another all throughout the Bible and they didn’t fumble by fornicating. Paul’s most supportive allies were women. I suck at the Bible but I know they had a tent making business together and he was very grateful for them.

You can meet them now for help that will come later.

There are men who I met when I was a child and I still call on them today when I need assistance. They continue to play their role and facilitate some of the biggest opportunities in my life. Imagine if I couldn’t call them up because we had coitus and the relationship ended badly? I’d be too shy/proud to even pick up the phone and call them.


The destiny helpers are now predators.

The men are now also perverted and don’t want to play that role of helping the protagonist through her journey. I admire this one guy in the advertising industry and I kept telling Lorraine that I would love to be mentored by him. But the fear is always in the back of my head that one day he will be like some of the jerks who were in authority over me and start demanding a steamy love affair. Are we then saying men can’t mentor girls?

You can’t keep your destiny helper forever.

I can’t say this enough. We need to stop holding on to people when their time is up. It’s like holding on to your Grade 7 teacher when you are now in varsity. They were there for that level and now you must meet the next person in your journey. That’s why that relationship with your ex didn’t work out. You weren’t meant to date in the first place. Now you’re holding on to a relationship that is clearly dead because you felt a connection. Of course you felt a connection, it was the divine purpose. Let them do the work in your life and move on. This goes for friends too. All my friends took me through different seasons, all of them know a different me. Those were different levels. Now we don’t talk everyday but I love them all the same.

Your next destiny helper can’t come until you let go of your previous one. 

Yep, the truth is you’re holding yourself back by clutching at straws. You literally can feel that this relationship is dead and buried but you sit there by the grave mourning it for days on end. Those two guys were hidden by the prostitute and when it was time to go they went. The prophet in the wilderness was fed by ravens, then the ravens stopped and God said the widow will feed you now. Imagine if he had sat there waiting for the ravens to come? He would have starved. The widow would be making food that no one would eat. Let go please and make way for the next one.


You can build a man for another woman

Let the Lord use you Sis. There is some panel beating you’re putting in and we would like to thank you in advance. You are a vessel and a willing instrument. You are the destiny helper to another woman. She will be happy, with a stable marriage on a foundation built by you. Isn’t that wonderful? It’s an honour to be chosen for such a great work. It’s like the pride Noah felt when God chose him to build an ark. He was ridiculed but it worked out in the end. He got a mention in the Bible.