If you had to choose between marriage and money what would you choose?
We all know what I’d choose.
Money over everything unless that marriage is into money then in that case I’d choose marriage.
Relationships are a delicate balancing act of compromise and sacrifices. This hits women a whole lot harder cause they have to worry about being an old maid, a spinster and racing against an expiring womb. With all this burdening them, they tend to choose marriage over money. Tragic.
The prevailing economic situation in Zimbabwe is disheartening. I’d genuinely like to jump ship and relocate to another country but my lover has other ideas. He’d rather stay here and ‘Survivor’ it out. Fortunately for him, I have nowhere to go so his plan wins. But what if tomorrow a door opened for me to leave Zimbabwe, what would happen then?
I’d like to think that I’d walk through that door and move to another country leaving my lover behind and our relationship would survive it. I think.
What I’ve learnt about life is that things aren’t always black and white. I used to have strong opinions about what was right and what was wrong and life tried me on all counts. In that same vein, I won’t know what I’d choose until God blesses me with that dilemma.
When I was younger, a boy asked me to move countries for him. I refused. To be fair, that was before the RTGS dollars. I had stars in my eyes back then and the stubborness of a mule to boot. Boy was I donkey of the decade. I refused to move out to him cause I didn’t know people where he was, please note that this was during a time when I’d never slept a night away from home.
I kept thinking what if he decides to hold this over my head forever? That he was the one that rescued me from a delapidated country? What if we fought and I couldn’t go anywhere cause I knew no one in that country? What if he just plain put me out? Those were the questions that were buzzing in my head. I declined.
Look at me now, planning to leave the country all by myself.
I think if you’re gonna move countries for a boy, you need to have a solid back up plan. Contingencies. There must also be other reasons for you to move that are beneficial to you. Escaping the maths of doing exchange rates is a damn good reason.
Also think about what you are leaving behind. I hate change of environment. God would literally have to Abraham me in Genesis 12:1 for me to leave and even then I’d try to negotiate. I like my comfort zone. I like knowing people. I like knowing where everything is. I like speaking my native language.
First of all, I would jump for any opportunity to leave the teapot-shaped ulcer. I might be biased though because I haven’t had a long-term relationship that would make me question my life choices. Perhaps if I was deeply in love with a reliable, consistent and kind person (for at least a solid year) I might not want to lose that. But then again, anyone who loves you that much would genuinely want you to better your life, no?
TL;DR Chase the bag. Relationships are transient.
Made the right decision. Do you think if your current, don’t understand this term lover so I’ll use what I understand, boyfriend was the one asking you to move to him in another country….would you wonder about the same questions? I think you were not at the level you felt you trusted your previous boyfriend with your safety and future. Or is it only after marriage that one does not ask these questions. Would you arrange a contingency if he was your husband. (shrug). I don’t have the answers myself.
“I kept thinking what if he decides to hold this over my head forever? That he was the one that rescued me from a delapidated country? What if we fought and I couldn’t go anywhere cause I knew no one in that country? What if he just plain put me out?”
If my current (you were right, he is my boyfriend) asked me to move countries for him, I would. He has given me security. I trust him with my safety and future. There were things that my previous did that jeopardized my trust in him. He wasn’t able to recover from them. I wouldn’t have a contingency if he was my husband because legally there are instruments in place to protect me.
Makes sense.
Great post and you must also consider where you are going to, in this age of people smuggling there are terrible endings in Western countries, but as always you must do what it is you want to do ?
This is one of my biggest fears. It’s the reason why I hardly apply for opportunities abroad. The world is a bad place.
Bless you ? it’s not all bad, but you are right it is better to be safe than sorry, even though I’ve spent my life in the opposite ??
I share the same sentiments, or a boy, or man; the male species in general or as some would like to put it, for love, nah ahh. I don’t see myself moving or NOT moving for that!
Would you move after marriage though?
Always choose love over money Terry…money will come and go but it is the love that lasts!
I have been through heartbreaks that made me lean towards money because I feel more in control of how I make money, spend money. Love can go either way. I’m scared to risk it.
Take your time, pray, look for qualities in a man that would make a great husband and father. Look for a spiritual man. Don’t settle for less!