I’ve always been a rub-it-in-your-face kind of person. I like being right and when I am, I like to celebrate it in true Leo fashion. In light of this, I have a bag full of points to prove. And this bag was the beginning of my undoing.
Every time I encounter setbacks or rejection, all I say in my head, every damn time, is, “I’ll show you!” I have a burn list in my head of people I want to scorch with my success and that’s why I been struggling. My point to prove is what’s holding me back.
I would watch Charmed, and I kept thinking that if I had those powers, I’d settle all sorts of scores. A lot of people must’ve thought the same because the script writer made sure to constantly mention that the sisters weren’t allowed to use their powers for ‘personal gain.’
Doing something from the revenge point of view is not pure. I don’t think when God was assigning out my purpose he predestined me to, “suck it to the haters!” This was me just eternally binding myself to people I don’t like. I was hoping good things would grow from a bitter, resentful foundation.
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Colossians 3:23
The Bible is confusing because it says God will set a table for you in the presence of your enemies but I wasn’t prepared to drag a table all of my life.
I’m learning how to evaluate my choices and the logical reasoning behind them. This is a hard thing for me because I’ve been afraid to fail and every time I fall, there’s invisible people in my head telling me that the whole world is laughing at me. Truth is, nobody cares and nobody is watching.
God has served me humble pie as daily bread this year and I’m starting to see the results. I’m now doing things for the glory of God and I’m back on track. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord and I’m happy to leave him to it.
Is there a point to prove that you need to remove?