Every woman has her own unique gift that has been bestowed upon her by her Maker. It is her duty to nurture and develop this gift to the best of her ability. The trouble then comes in when she finds a man who disrupts her life and hinders the growth of her gift due to either his ignorance or his need to diminish her and control her.

Let’s discuss some ways in which a woman may be gifted and how a man can disrupt that.

Intellectually gifted

The newspaper ran a story about a girl who was studying to be a lawyer and then got killed by her boyfriend who is a conductor. I’m just speculating but this is a loose example of when a woman is intellectually gifted and engages with a man who doesn’t deem himself as intellectually equal. This leads to arguments such as, “Just because you went to university you think you’re better than me?” This toxic masculinity will then develop into domestic violence and sometimes even femicide.

Physically gifted

If she is physically gifted like Bev or Kikky Badass, please don’t interrupt her grinding. This is not the time for your frail ego or backward patriarchal spiel. This also goes for those men who marry a woman and then start saying, “I don’t want you wearing trousers. Other men will see my things.” Excuse me, whose things? A woman can’t live her life trying to hide herself just because you’re afraid that someone else might see her gifts and actually appreciate them. This is what Jennifer Hudson was singing about in her song ‘Spotlight.’ 

Spiritually gifted

Seeing a woman who has a calling upon her life can be trying. Even for her it’s a trying experience especially if she has to go to Initiation school. I think the worst case scenario is if her gift rejects you or doesn’t allow her to marry you. Don’t try forcing it, leave it alone and let it be. It won’t end well. She can be a woman who has been called to the church. This would mean that sometimes she can’t indulge in conjugal rights because she is praying and fasting. This isn’t the time for you to be throwing tantrums about your needs. Don’t let the devil use you as an enemy of progress.

Financially gifted

Have you ever known someone who was just a money magnet? They had a gift of attracting money. It seemed like they were always provided for by God’s mysterious ways. There’s women like that. Who can compel men to part with their money sometimes without even asking. I had a friend who was like this, strange men would walk up to her and just pay for her groceries at the till. My jealousy was dead sure it was witchcraft and I would tell her as such. But that was her gift. If she had met a problematic gent he would have accused her of leading these men on or of being a sexworker just because he didn’t understand her gift.

This is why the good book says that we should not be unequally yoked. It causes a myriad of problems which could have been avoided. If you know in your heart that your person’s gift is giving you chest pains, please just walk away. Don’t try to stiffle it, don’t try to kill it or to compete with it, it won’t work. It will end in mutual destruction.

Are you aware of what your gift is?