The Revenge Body

So your man’s just left you. Your heart hurts and you think you may never love again. You re-live all the memories on loop and listen to love songs on repeat. You are low key dying from chest pains.

But he has continued with life like you never happened. Like you meant nothing.

What do you do? How do you heal? How do you fix this? How do you move on? Well, use the celebrity remedy that seems to work wonders (for them anyway)

The mantra has always been, “don’t get mad, get even.” Here in Africa it involves burning oil, hot irons and even fake pregnancy claims. But that’s a rudiment kinda revenge. The only way to get over your heartbreak is to get a REVENGE BODY.

What’s a revenge body?

Well, the whole concept is that you must hit the gym, diet and sculpt your body into Barbie levels of perfection. Not sure where the revenge is but I think when your ex sees the new you he must feel the most paralytic regret and slip into a coma of depression. But here’s what I don’t get?

Men are a creature of sight we’ve known this since Biblical times. Yes, its in the Bible! Why did you let yourself deteriorate from a sight for sore eyes to a sight that causes sore eyes?

Why the revenge body concept is beneficial for women is that when you go through a break up your self esteem takes a knock. You feel inadequate, unpretty, like a sack of potatoes basically. Exercise not only makes you feel good about your body but it also makes you happy and healthier. Effects of eating better, such as more energy, better hair, better skin, better body composition, better health, and just feeling better all over! You have less time to think about your ex. You’re eating right and your body is in sync. What more could you want?