There are a million negative thoughts in my mind narrowing them down to two was a mission. My initial idea was to list two of the easiest to address or at least attempt but that’s the cowardice way out. I needed to pick the ones that would bring me the most impact and growth. The discomfort is inevitable but it’s a price I am willing to pay.
You will fail without fail
I always feel stupid. Like my opinions are stupid and my ideas are stupid. This is why some of the ideas that I have had have never seen the light of day. I talk myself out of them before I even try. And then someone else will run with the very same idea and I’ll be sitting there kicking myself for not believing in myself.
To counter this, I’ll start to respond to my fears with facts. This means that for every idea, I’ll assess the plausibility and feasibility of it. Instead of thinking what will go wrong, I’ll think of the dollars and cents I stand to get when it does go right. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?
You don’t work hard enough
When I see people my age accomplishing so much more, I start to feel like I don’t work hard enough. Thoughts of feeling like a failure start to creep in and I crumble beneath them and just withdraw into my cocoon. Read somewhere once that you shouldn’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20. And I’m all for that but I constantly feel like I am running out of time. Not only that but I also believe that I am running behind time. I am about to turn 30 and I have nothing to show for it. I am still trying to figure stuff out. I’m neither a mother or a media mogul yet and that scares me.
To rectify this, I need to start by calming down and learning to believe in myself. I will set objectives and start to check them off the list one by one. I need to also start keeping a victory journal where I will document all my wins and every time the doubts begin to dawn, I’ll pull it out and put things back into perspective. This journal will help me to realise that I been winning at my game and running a good race.
There are 999 998 more negative thoughts but we’ll just start here for now. One day at a time. I’ll get there someday.