What is a love language?

We were in the car, straight chilling like we usually do on the weekend. And my hommie says to me, “Please play me some romantic love jams.” DJ Thembi Terry then pulled out her tab and start scouring for love jams. I played a couple songs until she said, “I said love songs. What are you playing?” I didn’t know what on earth she was talking about because I was playing love jams as far as I knew. She grabbed the tab and started looking for the music she wanted to hear. She didn’t find any.

I was sitting in the poop house (where all my thinking is done) and I just couldn’t get it off my mind. All those romantic songs on my tab and not one of them did she play. Is there something wrong with me? Obviously there’s something wrong with me right?


Love is objective. It means different things to different people. We all have a different currency for love and our love languages differ greatly. Some love to be beaten (50 Shades of Grey), some love men that don’t love them (every girl) and some watch way too many Jennifer Aniston movies. So, I needed to know what my love language was.

These are the top 5 songs that I could find closest to the romantic request.

  1. T.I – Whatever you like

If I ever walk down the aisle, it will be to this song! What’s not to love about it? This song speaks to my need for a man that can bring home the bacon. You can never have too much money. I never want to struggle. As an old-fashioned girl, the man must be the provider. Yes, I will do my own thing and make my own money but bae must make more than I do. If I ever have kids, I will be a stay-at-home mom. Raising my children will take first place.

  1. Iggy Azalea – Change Your Life/ Chris Brown – Transform Ya

I’d like to think that I am an amazing girlfriend. In fact, I know I am. Used to suffer from the ‘Saviour Syndrome” of always wanting to help people and save them from themselves. I believe that when you are in a relationship, the two of you should be able to support each other and help each other to grow and be better people. Most people drift apart because they failed to grow together. I have no doubt in my mind that I will marry a creative. Somebody who gets what I do and what it means to me. Investing in your person is like investing in yourself. When they shine, you shine.

  1. Beyonce – Partition

Right, my first born will probably be conceived to this song. I wish I could point out the exact lyrics that qualify this song as a love jam. When it comes to the physical act of love, this song fits the description pretty much. Who wants to be with a man that isn’t attracted to them? The spontaneity of the scene portrayed in the song is sexy AF not to mention the raw passion that is depicted both in the lyrics and video. You must do what it takes to keep the spark alive in your marriage is all I’m saying.

  1. Future ft Kanye West – I Won

This song is probably what it feels like to be serenaded the hood version. I would like for my man to always keep it top of mind that I chose him. It could’ve been anyone in the world but I chose him. A man that is proud to stand beside me and realises it’s an honor and a priviledge. A man that fights for me even though the whole world is saying all kinds of rubbish about me. These are the men that will defend you when your in-laws start crimes against humanity on you.

  1. Lady Gaga – Bad Romance

I’ve never understood what this song is about but from my personal interpretation, its about that insatiable love that consumes you completely. I assume women that stay with bad men can relate to this. In this song, she tells the dude straight up, I want you, all of you. I want the good and the bad. I do not want lukewarm love. I want love that will make me lose my sh#t. She is still a strong independent woman (free bit) but isn’t too proud to go after the man she wants.

After doing some deep introspection and reflection of self, I realised that my love language may or may not be money. As golddigger as that sounds, it’s the truth. Life is just simpler with money in the picture. I love buying stuff. I love being able to afford. I love being able to provide for the people around me. The beauty of it is that I’m not afraid to work for it.

Based on the music on your playlist, what’s your love language?