Imagine minding your own business just trying to get by and someone keeps roping you into a race that you didn’t sign up for.
You’re walking in the middle of town, strolling and living the very best of your life and a sports commentator starts booming overhead and alas you’re in a marathon with other pedestrians just going about their business.
So why do we keep doing it with women?
In pop culture, it’s impossible for a woman to break into the scene and not be signed up to some sort of rivalry. Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey, Brandy and Monica, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera oh not forgetting Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. The world keeps making it like there isn’t room for everyone and I’m livid.
Magazines will run those, “Who wore it better?” pages and it’s dedicated to pitting one against the other. The only time compare and contrast is required is in English Literature and it’s inapplicable to real life. You can’t be doing control tests with real life people. We are all different, you can’t use us as test subjects.
Beyoncé and Solange love each other. Their bond is enviable but people that don’t matter keep trying to get in between the sisters. Why? Fabulous raps, “If you could have Beyoncé, would you take Solange?” What the heck is that supposed to even mean? Tina says she took Beyonce and Solange for counselling when they were young so that their different life choices don’t drive them apart.
It’s not easy being the ‘Solange.’ I’m the dark skinned one amongst my siblings and I’m sick of the comparisons. We have different fathers for the love of Christ! I shouldn’t have to explain this and yet I constantly have to. Yes, Zulugirl 2 graduated Cum Laude and I am happy for her, our strengths are different. When it comes to causing drama, I got the lion’s share.
You’re not in a race with someone else. The world is addicted to the gore of conflict but you don’t have to opt in.
I watched the Red Table Talk when Jada Pinkett-Smith had Gabrielle Union on the show and they spoke about how the mediators between them created a rivalry that didn’t exist and for years that feud scorched between them and they can’t pinpoint where it began. I can relate. In high school, I had a feud with this girl for three years strong. Only when we left high school and actually spoke did we realise that the go-betweens were creating drama where there was none. She’d heard things I didn’t say and I’d beaten her for things she didn’t say. I carried bricks in detention over hear-say. Not my proudest moment.
How do women work together when they feel like everything is a gladiator fight in a colloseum. That’s how they have managed to divide and conquer us. We are so busy competing when there is really no need. Collaboration is more important than competition. Pride aside, keep your eyes on the prize.
What are some of the instances where you’ve seen women being pitted against each other?
You sound like you have some stories to tell.
Lol, some day maybe, you better find me high!
This really hurts. Its so sad how not only women but men do this. What’s worse is no one really gains anything from this, nothing at all
But how do we make it stop?
This thing must stop. Truth is, we are all different and in trying to compare, we are killing individual uniqueness. I’ve found that complimenting other women on things I like on or about them gives me confidence. If I like their hair or outfit, I ask questions.
This is a great start and hopefully it brings about a change in attitude to other people as well.