You Are The Best Decision I Ever Made

You know what sucks? Being hurt by somebody that doesn’t believe that they hurt you. That feeling is the worst. Do you know why? Because that means you will never get an apology out of them like ever. And it will affect the way you relate to other people because you will be afraid to communicate your feelings just in case they can justify why you don’t deserve to feel hurt by them.

Forgiving you has been the best decision that I have ever made. Accepting an apology that never came was by far the hardest thing that I ever had to do but I am proud of myself for having done it.

I carried the pain and  the hurt from all the things that you put me through for too long now. It has broken me and damaged the way I relate to other people. I have been stuck in a vicious cycle that I couldn’t break because you taught me that chaos was the only way to live. You made me distrust humans because in you I came to understand how vicious people can get.

I shouldn’t have had to cut you off but when it came down to it, it was you or me and I chose me.

I don’t hate you. I really don’t. I actually don’t care. You can no longer get a rise out of me. There are instances that I knew were triggers into that dark space you like me in. But these days, I seem to have conquered them. I can go for days without thinking of you. You only come up when I am applauding myself for being a survivor. I no longer subscribe to the narrative that you were selling because the way I see things, I have won the battle and the war. You took nothing from me.