Forgiving you has been the best decision that I have ever made. Accepting an apology that never came was by far the hardest thing that I ever had to do but I am proud of myself for having done it.
I carried the pain and the hurt from all the things that you put me through for too long now. It has broken me and damaged the way I relate to other people. I have been stuck in a vicious cycle that I couldn’t break because you taught me that chaos was the only way to live. You made me distrust humans because in you I came to understand how vicious people can get.
I shouldn’t have had to cut you off but when it came down to it, it was you or me and I chose me.
I don’t hate you. I really don’t. I actually don’t care. You can no longer get a rise out of me. There are instances that I knew were triggers into that dark space you like me in. But these days, I seem to have conquered them. I can go for days without thinking of you. You only come up when I am applauding myself for being a survivor. I no longer subscribe to the narrative that you were selling because the way I see things, I have won the battle and the war. You took nothing from me.