How many competitions have you entered online?

How many of those have you won?

Before you call up Sekuru the Nyanga to rid yourself of your bad luck lemme explain why you aren’t winning. And it’s got nothing to do with your ancestors needing the wise waters.

Like-farmers start pages and fill them with content dedicated to collecting as many “likes” or “shares” as possible in the shortest amount of time. But, nobody actually wins anything. Ever. The prizes do not even exist. The promised prizes are just the bait used to entice users into liking the page and sharing the promotional posts. By getting people to click the like button as well as spam out the bogus promotions by sharing them with their friends, these fake Pages can accumulate many thousands of likes, often within just a few hours.

I personally entered this one online competition. I literally entered with all that I am: my dreams, aspirations, problems that winning would alleviate and of course I entered all in with my heart.

Because I had invested so much into this one competition I had keen interest. Literally spending the day on their Facebook page and incessantly refreshing my emails. But ay dololo!

Three months after the competition closing date I came to the conclusion that maybe this was a hoax. A bid by the marketing team to get my email address and spam me with their overpriced services. Don’t they know I built this city?

I felt so cheated. So robbed. Like a man who wakes up next to a woman who’d been Vaulted the night before.

Months later I entered another competition with the same obsession as the first. (Desperation or Perseverance?) Either way, I stalked them as well. I work-from-home so I had the time. Manje with this competition they had the audacity to tag me in the actual winners’ submissions. (Does anybody know what brand of alcohol the ancestors prefer?)