I don’t mean to incite sibling rivalry or whatever. All I’m saying is there is good and there is great.
When you look at your squad, where do you rank on the hotness scale? Are you the leader of the pack or you are the one that guys approach to gain access to another member of your crew?
Why is this important?
Well it wasn’t…until recently.
I accompanied a friend of mine to go visit her suitor. When we arrived I fell back and let her deal with her person. I barely said three words to him. Later on he texts her and insinuates how cute I am.
She sent the messages to me and we laughed about it. But it was not well with my soul. How many times does a man think the friend is cuter than his girlfriend? Of course, some are smart enough to keep it to themselves. But what about those that act on it?
What does this mean?
Should I ditch my scalding hot squad that has itty-bitty waists and model bodies for a more mediocre squad where I will reign supreme to avoid being the ugly one in the pack?
By no means.
I have the baddest pack. And we all have different tastes when it comes to the male species. But not all women are as lucky as me. If you can’t trust your man, or your girl they need to go!
Now I have new fears. What if my suitor comes to my house to negotiate the bride price and they line us up with all my sisters and he needs to identify which Zulugirl he came for and he is overwhelmed by their yellow cuteness and hesitates to pick me?
This issue is one of the underlying reasons why women can strongly dislike a woman they know nothing about. She walks in and hasn’t said a single word but inside of you, you have rated yourself against her and realise you fall short and you resent her flawlessness.
“We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men”
– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Beyonce – Flawless)
Women dislike being compared. At least I know I do. How many of you wives has heard your man say, “Why can’t you be like my mom?” Already that starts making you feel inadequate and unfortunately you will resent his mum because women always pick their man over anything else.
It doesn’t matter if your hubby is drooling over Beyonce, a woman he will never meet. He must have eyes for just you. You must be the only girl in the world to him. All other women must be as trees to him. What happens when he meets a girl with Beyonce-like features? See why these little fetishes must not run unchecked?
Women who have been cheated on will always secretly stalk the woman he cheated with and try to figure out what he saw in her. Sometimes they even go as far as to start emulating the sidechic in hopes of regaining his attention
What then can we do?
Here is some advice from the King of R&B, the Pied Pier…R Kelly
So homie don’t bring your girl to meet me ’cause (I’m a flirt)
And baby don’t bring your girlfriend to eat ’cause (I’m a flirt)
Please believe it, unless your game is tight and you trust her
Then don’t bring her around me ’cause (I’m a flirt)
– R. Kelly (I’m a flirt)