I am a child born out of a matrimonial home. I didn’t suffer at the hands of a step parent. I had an amazing step-dad, he is the only dad I ever knew. My siblings and I get along fine but it was far from an ideal situation.


I write a lot about how I do not want to have a broken home. That means not marrying a man who already has kids or having kids by multiple partners. All my kids (if any) will be by one man. I am all for blended families. Love conquers all, if you’re into that sort of thing. Truth is, blended families come with a lot of complications. Illegitimate children struggle with issues of belonging and acceptance.


Dating back to Shakespeare’s writings, the illegitimate child has suffered. It is a struggle having three families but belonging to none. There is your mother’s family, your father’s family and the family of the step parent. Most of these situations force the bastard child to pick a side and someone ends up being ignored. The politics in these situations are crazy! I wrote a whole article about how you shouldn’t make children choose, and you can find it here.


These days whether you are born in or out of wedlock its all the same. People don’t commit the way that they used to.Divorce is popular and I can’t say I know why. I’d be lying. A great boyfriend doesn’t automatically translate to a great husband or a great father. It is tricky to say the least. It’s become important, more than ever, for you to become the full package just in case you have to raise a child alone. You cannot embark on parenthood with the mentality that you will share the burden with somebody else, life will surprise you.