You can’t ever ask a man, “What are we?” It’s too much pressure they say. Just go with the flow they suggest. Just have fun and what’s yours will unveil itself. Pish posh me thinks.

Today’s blog post reminds me of the phone call conversation between Dr Dre and Toni Braxton in the ‘Just be a man,’ video where he says to her, “I wanna love you, maybe I’ll love you one day but…” That line gets me every time but sadly its a reality for some people.

You know what the Bible says, “You have not because you ask not.” You don’t have a relationship with the object of your affection because you are too afraid to ask a simple question, “What are we?”

I don’t know about you but when I race, I need to know from the starting line if its a marathon or a sprint. It’s obvious that the preparation that goes into either or greatly differs. You need to know what you’re signing up for.

I’ve always argued that believers shouldn’t be unequally hooked up with unbelievers. Imagine expecting standards based on an agreement that the other party doesn’t believe in? It could never work. Contracts require both people to agree and sign that they agree. It’s the same in a relationship. You need to agree. The right hand must know that the other party would like to eventually take their left hand in marriage.

The worst thing is for you to find out that he is seeing other people and you’ve been a placeholder. When you confront him about it and he responds, “I never said we were in an exclusive relationship. We were just having fun.” He is not wrong. You never asked.

Ignorance isn’t bliss, have the tough conversation and don’t settle. You can’t get back wasted time.