I once dated this guy who could drink like a fish. This was way outta my character because I had grown up afraid of men that drink. Not because anything bad happened but because I watched too many Tyler Perry movies. Grew up thinking men that drink are drunkards or alcoholics that don’t pay the bills and beat women. My father wasn’t much of a drinker so I had no yardstick to disprove my stereotype. Also, my religion gave me spiritual paranoia about people that drink being bound or some sh#t. So, men that knew alcohol were not considered for the role of bae.
When I moved to the city, I met a fine bobo. Who drank all the time when he wasn’t at work. I was mad skeptical at first but I gave him a chance. Never once did he beat me. All his financial commitments were met on time and in full. He wouldn’t drink to the point of retardation. But his drinking made me a very good girlfriend. His drinking worked for my own good when I finally got past my reservations.
How does alcohol help a relationship?
Well, I didn’t have to hear about his stress. He would hash that stuff out with the people in the bar. They would discuss anything and everything I had no interest in hearing especially sports. Gosh, I hate sports! But when he was Chatty Cathy, high as a kite, he would open up and tell me things he ordinarily wouldn’t when he is sober. He would talk about his fears, aspirations and genuine thoughts about stuff. On the days, he’d drink Two Keys, I’d be ready with my girlfriend notebook to take notes. I’d then address all issues that he had raised. I knew what to discuss and what not to discuss. I knew what to do, when to do it and how to do it. He basically told me all I needed to know when he was sloshed. He thought I was a god-sent but nope I just listened very well. Not once did I ever throw anything he told me in his face. I just used the information quietly and became an awesome girlfriend.
Don’t resent the time apart. Do you!
Before you started dating, you had your own hobbies and thangs. Just because you are now in a relationship, it’s unfair to start demanding somebody’s 100%. Now and then you need time apart to do other things and enjoy your recreational activities. Relationships don’t mean you have to now become conjoined twins. Don’t stiffle your person. P!nk rightly puts it in “Leave Me Alone (I’m Lonely)”, “Go away, give me a chance to miss you. Say goodbye it will make me wanna kiss you, I love you so, much more when you’re not there. Watching all the bad shows. Drinking all of my beer.”
On the other hand, there are some men that turn into real life monsters when they drink. These ones deserve to be nagged to stay home and be grounded. I am sorry for your misfortune if you have a man like that. Men that hit the club and come back with HPV. Men that drink all the money away when there is no food and no school fees for the kids. Men that drink and lose their inhibitions and start fights and brawls and people get hurt or die. I am so sorry, I won’t even tell you to leave cause you probably won’t. Endure your man-made prison.
How do you feel about alcohol, Yay or nay?
Alcohol? YAY!! hope I shouted loud enough to convey the sentiment ?
Great post Alcohol with moderation is a yay it gives you that extra umph
Great post. Come home with HPV! Personally can’t stand being around drunk people because of the limited dimensions of drunk personalities; most are either aggressive, loud or super affectionate. Very few people actually hit the happy medium of a slight buzz. That being said, I only started drinking end of 2016 post-breakup. Socially. I don’t own a hip flask yet. And from my observations, some things just require wine.
LOL I haven’t been driven to drink yet. But I can’t wait to be on my Olivia Pope with a glass every now and then.
for a minute i thought you were going to talk about how you got awesome when you were sloshed. i guess debunking the stereotype about men who drink starts at realizing that not every man who drinks behaves a certain way. nice train of thought
Thanks Bheki, it’s not fair to paint everybody with the same brush.
NB: Thembi Terry doesn’t drink. It’s never been my thing. My behavior is prone to addictive behaviour so I try and avoid drugs and alcohol.
I absolutely love this piece, unprecedented. As for alcohol- Yay, as long as the demarcations are set!
Yeah people need to know their limits and handle their liquor. Ultimately, to each his own I suppose
Thank you for taking the time Nkosana. Stay supportive
How do i feel about alcohol??? Ummmmm, *scratches head*
Walking the fence is also pretty cool. You don’t have to have an opinion about everything.