You’ve been in love for a while now. And you wanna shout it from the rooftops that you’re bae’d up. So you log onto Facebook and go all Shakespeare on his timeline with such a loving post Cupid would be ashamed.

You log in hours later and find that your post has been deleted!

What would you do?
You working your mind raw tryna find reasons why he has snubbed your public display of affection. Lemme help you speculate.

Because society and self esteem demand that you have a man its an achievement when you get one and you can’t wait to show him off to the world. And that’s good and fine. But now we are living in a time where people wanna sell the dream. You wanna be in a relationship at all costs. Have it look good for the people and everything else like love and genuine happiness be damned.

Nowadays, being claimed on social media is such a big thing its equaled to marriage. You’re his WiFi wifey and the relationship could be over in six clicks or less. Basically, it takes two to tango, do you know how your partner feels about this typa thing?

Have a conversation with your boothang about how he feels about his love affair being an issue of public interest. There are many reasons why he would be a little skeptical about putting that info out there. What if he’s a low key Drug Lord and he’s protecting you from his enemies?

I just chuckled at that.

Its so easy for us to jump to conclusions as to why he won’t publicize your relationship. The main fear being that you aren’t the only one. (A reasonable fear at that) Other fears sprout up as well such as inadequacy, “Is he ashamed of me?” “Am I not worthy to be known as his?” “Are we just a fling and nothing more?”

And if that’s the case you are selfish and broken. You have personal issues you need to work through. Only when you are whole should you get into a relationship. Your mother should have held you more cause we all know attention seekers lacked maternal affection.

I personally don’t like to make my relationship status public knowledge because people take stock of these things. And dating three different people is already too much and the assumption is always that sexual relations are involved. Miss me with that drama.

Unfortunately, there are some men that are very possessive and wanna brand you and mark their territory in a huge way. This is usually popular with less handsome men that get lucky and date a pretty girl. Everybody must know. Its a validation for him of some kind.

What I have learnt is that the most publicised relationships on social media are the shakiest… Its as if you know the relationship is doomed and so you over compensate by trying to convince yourself by convincing other people that you are in love. And your relationship will play out in a very public way. You will always drag your issues onto social media when things aren’t well at home your relationship status will change to ‘widowed.’ Its all childish really.

Ask yourself, “What’s the point of publicising my relationship?”

Who needs to know that you are in a relationship and how will it contribute to the knowledge base of trying to find a cure for HIV/AIDS?

Sometimes you can’t see past your insecurities and you are busy trying to appease them that you overlook that putting yourself out there has advantages and disadvantages.

I still have much more to say but I’d like to hear your comments about this topic. What are your thoughts and experiences about social media in relationships?


  • pisa
    Posted 15th February 2016 8:26 am 0Likes

    i don’t think there is anything wrong about letting people know about your relationship, why should one hide it? If i don’t tell everyone about you then yu ma side chick if its genuine and i’m proud of it i will tell the whole world and be happy about it. Remember newly weds always walk with their hands interlocked because they want everyone to know. Another reason why most young people want to have weddings with many people to witness, but really old people just do the boring and dull way of going to a court and tie the knot.

    ***So if he deletes your post he is definately F***ing someone else.***

    • Zulu Thembie
      Posted 17th February 2016 12:32 pm 0Likes

      You can out and spit the truth i was afraid to say. Usually if he wants to keep you a secret its cause there is somebody else

  • tamu
    Posted 15th February 2016 10:47 am 0Likes

    thats an interesting notion….especially about the attention seekers. But can we truly say the relationship is shaky because you clued in the world on it?

    • Zulu Thembie
      Posted 17th February 2016 12:31 pm 0Likes

      9/10 Yes we can.

  • Robin
    Posted 19th February 2016 10:11 am 0Likes

    I agree with you on that, keep that shit in your bedroom chile!
    People think they are KimK and Kanye and have to publicise, but wait, it is because those two make money from attention, hence they get an endorsement from adidas and then post…heeey i love the new shoe designs, adds to their bank cheque,,,,they can get free champagne, holidays, vip access and promote concerts FOR A FEE

    Now why in the world would u think Jane Doe and Peter Man relationship will benefit anyone at all like a celeb overshare.

    It also brings several issues if offline u have a disagreement, then someone posts on your shared pro pic… you guys should get married soon… its better to not let the outside mostly fake and misleading online world be the third party in your relationships, break ups are always easy that way…

    and what if you are happy and some person enjoys telling ur bae how u are a whore and have been with many people…heck they can even get a collage done of your baes…social media is forever you know…will post when i am married as a profile pic and thats it

    He can publish me when he has signed half of his assets to my NAME in a legal marriage, then at least wear a ring etc

  • Ancillar
    Posted 19th February 2016 12:13 pm 0Likes

    This article was enlightening and i agree if you are a ‘password’ you probably a secret

  • Robin Williams
    Posted 2nd March 2016 1:52 pm 0Likes

    I’m hearing this!

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