Marrying a loser isn’t always about giving a deadbeat money to go and lobola you. I have never understood the idea behind this but to each his own. For the sake of this article, a loser doesn’t not mean a man without money. It means any man that isn’t up to your standards. A man that has any deficiency according to your list of needs.


  • You are afraid to end up alone

Who said ending up alone is a bad thing? I have an aunt who married money instead of getting a husband. And she is living the life. Money is bae. No human being can bring me as much pleasure as buying stuff and the fulfilling feeling of being able to afford. I’m also addicted to being able to provide for me and mine. Being alone doesn’t scare me. I am most productive when I am on my own. Isolation preceeds elevation.


  • You think its about time

Time is an illusion. I learnt this from watching ‘Collateral Beauty.’ Time is whatever you say it is. Don’t allow for people to make you feel like you are behind time according to their watch. You’ll be ready when you’re ready and not a moment sooner. It will be time when you say it’s time. Bear in mind that ‘never’ is also an option.


  • You can’t handle peer pressure

All your friends have started families and they have been told not to play with single people anymore so they start telling to get married for the sake of preserving the friendship. That’s hella foul. If we were friends before, we can still be friends. Your wedding band changes nothing. Just that you don’t go to bed alone anymore. You and I are not the same. Don’t feel pressured to make a commitment that you aren’t for cause everyone is doing it.


  • You need love

You feel deprived. Mommy never hugged you enough and daddy ditched. You are feeling lonely and watching romantic comedies leaves you worse off than before. You think having a husband will solve all your problems. It won’t. It actually comes with its own set of problems. Getting into a relationship with such emotional baggage is unfair on your mate. Cause now your happiness is their responsibility.


  • You want to have kids

When the imaginary biological clock is ticking like a time bomb you start lowering your standards and anything with sperm will do. This is unfair, not only to your partner who has to be ready whether or not he wants a child. And to the child who comes into the world for the sole purpose of filling your void. The child is aready born with a job description. Making a long term decision based on a temporary whim is destructive. When the whim passes, you will still have a child that you need to look after.


Before you marry a loser, first make sure that you aren’t a loser yourself. It’s a game of numbers. When you start feeling yourself slipping away, take some time out to find out what the underlying issue is. More often than not, when you address this issue, your body will stop demanding stuff that you aren’t ready for.