The Zulugirl Wedding

o-wedding-checklist-facebookAs this highly coveted milestone draws near, I decided that maybe I should write down my vision so that the in-laws don’t get it twisted. My wedding day will not be a day for me to stick it to the haters that said it would never happen. I don’t like you so best believe that I will not start my married life in debt just to feed you. I don’t have a point to prove. Neither will my wedding be a publicity stunt for people I don’t know to come and take selfies and give me lavish gifts just to show off how much money they have. Here’s my thinking, when I marry, the guy must already have his things together. If he was counting on wedding gifts then clearly he wasn’t ready.

Anyway, so on the 31st August in the coming near future, I will be wed at the Sandy Jones Centre. This is an orphanage that looks after girls. The venue is perfect because before it was an orphanage, it was a pathetic attempt at being a hotel. Clearly that building is cursed to be a non-profit organisation.

My guests shall be the orphans from four of the largest orphanages in Bulawayo. I want to share my special day with people that will truly appreciate it. Chances are these children will probably never experience a wedding up until their own weddings. My theme stems from that story in the bible where that guy got all the paupers rounded up for the feast or whatever. Something like that.

@AraKaniCo originals

@AraKaniCo originals

The dress will be an @AraKaniCo original. Designed by the one and only @uNcubeOthungayo. Dear God, I hope he’ll be over that black and white phase by then. Daddy will be all over this cause his name is also Nkululeko. Catering by Dickies #TeamSadza4Life. Entertainment will be by an overrated comedian that I know, Lord knows he is childish enough, the kids will love him.

Then, after sundown, we’ll have a dinner for close friends and family. If you don’t know who the aspiring groom is then clearly you don’t qualify. The fact that I’d rather spend my special day with strangers should already be a signal of how I  rate most of you or lack thereof.

8 Responses
  • nathanmajuru
    December 10, 2014

    Wonderful piece ntombazana! Keep churning them out. Well done.

    • TheComplicatxn
      December 10, 2014

      Thanks shamwari. As long as there’s something to complain about, I’m going to blog about it!

      • nathanmajuru
        December 10, 2014

        Mwana asingacheme anofira mumbereko – He who doesn’t complain dies in silence

  • Sandiswe Bhule
    December 11, 2014

    HAHAHHAHA! Sounds like my perfect wedding minus the orphanage part! I want to have a braai or a breakfast wedding. But Sifiso Mabhena wont let me live my dream! The man who has to share it wants people dressed to the 9s and he wants an evening wedding – I am starting to wish that I could wed myself then have him from the honeymoon onwards. LOL

    • TheComplicatxn
      December 11, 2014

      LOL Uripatight shamwari. Im all for whatever you decide!

  • Mr Ara Kani
    December 15, 2014

    Lmao you are weird trust me but i will gladly make you that beautiful wedding dress. And dont worry im already past that black an white phase.

    • TheComplicatxn
      December 15, 2014

      Thanks tshomi I knew I could count on you vele! Its gonna be a helluvah wedding.

What Are Your Thoughts?

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