I always knew that all those make over shows would have adverse effects on the female psyche. The developments in make-up artistry have demonstrated that things are never what they seem. I’ve never liked surprises and turns out the gents agree with me on this one, the only time they appreciate transformers is when they are on TV.

You meet this dime, date it, marry it and upon marriage you realise that you have been short changed (see what I did there?) What happens to the woman you met once she becomes your Mrs? I have a few theories.

It’s easy to pretend to be something that you are not if you only see your mate 6 hours in a week. When you move in with them, sunrise to sunset, the pretence can get a bit tiring and the real colours start to show. She used to have her face painted meticulously when you were dating but now she looks ravaged by the struggles of life. Have you wondering if during your courtship she’d only bath on days when she was seeing you.

I get that we have ‘equal rights’ now but that is no excuse to not know basic household chores. Out in the streets trying to get a husband instead of learning how to cook and clean. What are you going to do when you are a young adult staying alone or did you intend on leaving your father’s house straight into your marital home? When do you get to be young and independent?

There is too much pressure on girls to get married and not enough training on how to stay married. Too many women take refuge in the fact that society will judge you for being unmarried but not as much for being divorced. Too many women just want weddings not marriage. Then after the, ‘I do’ they aren’t really sure what comes next. This is where stories of “she let herself go after the marriage” come from. Why would you let go of yourself? Simple, because Tete isn’t calling anymore applying unnecessary pressure.

Anyway, because I’m all about solutions, my aunt and I shall be starting a school for daughters-in-law.

Makoti:The finishing school for muroora/malukazana.